Devoted
by Stargirl1439
Summary: COMPLETE! Sirius and Lily have discovered that they really like each other, so naturally they start going out. But, then why is this a Lily & James story? I'll love you if you read and review!
1. chapter 1

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything except for a few original people, so don't take them!

**Devoted**

**Chapter One**

*********

The halls of Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were strangely quiet. A clock was ticking off the seconds somewhere like a bomb, and like a bomb, that ticking would eventually lead to an explosion.  But, for the moment, it only added a beat to the shuffle of the custodian's broom.

_Tick, tick, tick, tick._  5...4...3...2..._Tock..._1!  All of a sudden, every crevice of the school echoed with the joyous shouts of students exiting their last class of the week.

"Colleen Zerbato!  Get your ass over here, right now!"  A beautiful girl with shimmering auburn hair called out to her friend.  The friend, a tan girl with bleached blonde hair looked confusedly around before spotting the redhead.  She smiled and stuck out her tongue before marching over.

"What do you want, Lillian?"  Colleen was the one person who ever called Lily Evans by her full first name.  No one else even dared because she lived up to her hair's stereotype of being a hothead.  Colleen, however, managed to evade that terror by being Lily's best friend.  She could get away with just about anything.

Lily looked around with her stunning green eyes.  Everyone admitted that those eyes were her best feature.  They sparkled all the time, even without a ray of light, and the green wasn't just any green, it was the purest, deepest of its color imaginable.  So emerald that they hardly looked real.  To compliment this, they were framed with thick, dark eyelashes, unusual for a redhead.

Her eyes were not the only beautiful thing about her, though.  Lily was gorgeous all over.  She had pale, porcelain skin with the exception of her cheeks, which were highlighted pink.  And, if you looked closely enough, you could see a sprinkle of freckles across the bridge of her tiny nose.  

Colleen smirked, "Let's go find some boys, Lillian; we can torture them a bit before supper." 

"Like who?"  Lily wrinkled her nose as she imagined herself seducing some random Hufflepuff.  It was the kind of thing her best friend liked to do, but Lily...?  She had an image to maintain.  A perfect, goody-two-shoes image.

Lily, of course, was a former prefect and the current Head Girl.  She was always top of her class and never did anything that would disgrace herself or her family.  That was the way she liked it.

Colleen cast her gaze around.  "I don't know, let's go up to the common room and see what happens from there."  She linked arms with Lily and dragged her off to Gryffindor Tower.

They hurried up to the portrait-entrance to the common room.  It was filled with a whole bunch of people celebrating the end of the week and a few trying to complete their mounds of assignments.

Lily rolled her eyes at a group of second years setting off fireworks.  "I can't believe that everyone has only been at school for a week and they are already this excited about a Friday," she said as she confiscated the rest of the pyrotechnics. 

"Well, let's make the most of it.  There are the marauders, let's go, uh, talk to them."

Lily frowned as her friend tried to pull her toward the boys.  "But, Colleen..."  She crossed her arms childishly.  "I don't want to talk to them."

The marauders were just the sort of guys that would ruin Lily's image.  James Potter, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were 16 year old womanizers.  Peter Pettigrew, the pubescent boy that followed them around, wished he was.

Lily studied them carefully.  They were they biggest pranksters in the school.  No one could top their outrageous antics and they got away with them because they were hot and smart.  Even Lily could admit that.

Peter would be cute, sort of, if you were in first or second year.  He just looked so young with his round, boyish face and flat dirty-blonde hair.  The only thing that didn't fit the picture were his dark brown eyes; they were almost black.  Lily knew that the marauders called him Wormtail.

Remus, sometimes known as Moony, was the most logical person in the group.  And why he hadn't been named Head Boy was beyond Lily.  She was continually competing against him for top of class.  He had striking features that were classically handsome: high, but not too high cheekbones, expressive eyebrows and full lips.  He had slightly wavy, light brown hair.  He always seemed a bit wearied and Lily accounted that to his nightly shenanigans.  But even so, he was the one she related to the most.

James, (Prongs) was a cocky git who cared nothing for the rules.  He tended to join Sirius in leading all the pranks.  He had communicative bright blue eyes and all of the classically handsome characteristics that Remus had, plus he had a good build from being the captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team.  Lily liked him the least because in their fifth year, he had asked her out 182 times in one week.  She had completely lost it on him and unleashed her redhead fury.  Apparently, he had lost his taste for her because he hadn't tried anything since.

Finally, she turned her attention to Sirius, or Padfoot, probably the most handsome of the four guys.  He had black hair that he had grown to his ears, as was the style in the 70's.  (Think Beatles, except more wavy... 2;-] )  His eyes were almost as dark as Peter's.  He also had an excellent build from God knew what, he didn't play quidditch.  Same facial qualities as James and Remus, but somehow more prominent.

"Lillian, don't act like a two year old.  Let's have some fun, please?"  Colleen stuck out her lip in a pout.

Lily struggled not to smile.  "Who's acting like a two year old?"  She imitated Colleen's face.  "Fine, we'll go talk to them for a few minutes but then I want to get my school work done."

"What a spoilsport!"

They strolled over to the corner in which the boys were seated, Colleen swinging her hips provocatively and Lily shuffling her feet in boredom.  James spotted them and jumped to his feet.

"Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail!  Look at these lovely ladies coming our way.  How do you do Miss Brehmer?  And you, Evans?"  He gallantly kissed Colleen's hand.  She giggled very girlishly.

Remus and Peter both waved and nodded to the two girls but Sirius, like James, got up to greet Lily.

"Hello, Lilybird.  I know you must get this a lot but, you have the most beautiful eyes.  I've never seen anything quite like them.  And your hair."  He murmured to her.  She couldn't help but blush at his words.

"Lilybird?"  She asked shyly, cracking a small smile.  "No one has ever called me that."

"I don't know," Sirius took a step closer, "it just rolled off my tongue.  But, you know, I think it fits you.  My Lilybird."

Lily inched forward as well; she was so close to him that she could see his eyes were a rich brown, rimmed with black.  

"Your Lilybird?"  She repeated dumbly.  He touched her fingers lightly.

Taking another small step forward so there was no space between the two, Sirius whispered, "You would fly into my hand if I wanted you to, Lilybird, admit it."  He leaned in for a kiss and Lily forgot all the crap about her image.  She cocked her own head to fit his and closed her eyes.  She sensed him only centimeters away when suddenly two hands pulled her roughly backwards.

Lily opened her eyes and turned to see Colleen trying not to laugh, "Lillian, you must get started on your studies.  Let's go!"  Her face reddened as she looked at a shocked Sirius.

Colleen pulled her up the stairs to the girls' bedroom and shoved her onto the nearest bed.

"What in the world were you doing, Lillian Joy Evans?  I thought you didn't want to be seen talking with those boys...well, I guess you weren't talking...in any case, you must explain to me one thing!"        

Lily's eyes followed her as Colleen paced the room, her face contorted in mock anger.  

"What?"

Colleen ceased her pacing, "Do you like Sirius Black?"

__...---*---...__

James watched Lily and Colleen run up the stairs.  As much as he hated to admit 

it, James liked everything about Lily, her hair, her body, her eyes...God, he loved those eyes more than anything.  He sighed and turned toward his best mate, Sirius.

Sirius was looking up the stairs with a clouded look as well.  "Lily Evans is really amazing, isn't she Prongs?"

James swallowed a pang of jealousy, "Yeah, I suppose.  Are you...are you going to ask her out or something?"  He tried to put on an unconcerned face.

"Yeah, I might...do you think she would say yes?

"What do you think?"  James rolled his eyes.  "She practically snogged you right there, which is something we know little-miss-perfect-Head-Girl would never do."  The bitterness was vaguely evident in his voice.  Of course Lily liked his closest friend.  Of course.  "And besides, you sounded pretty sure of yourself, '_Oh my Lilybird, you would just fly right into my hand, admit it.'"  _He repeated with a shrill voice.

Sirius smiled and slapped James's back.  "Thanks mate.  I knew you would be there for me.  Oy!  Peter, ready for that game of chess?"  He nodded his approval once more and walked over to the table where Peter was sitting.

James sighed and sat next to Remus on one of the plump red couches.  This day was beginning to suck.

Remus watched his friend's face slowly drop.  "What's wrong, Prongs?"

At first James just shook his head, but when received a stern glance from Remus, he sighed once again.  "I don't know.  It's just Lily, I still kind of...I don't know.  Maybe I'm just jealous."

Moony turned an even more critical eye toward him.  "You still like her, don't you?"

*****

****

**_A/N: Ok, that was my very first chapter and I hoped you all liked it!  Yeah, I'm really sorry it was so short, but they will get longer I promise!  I don't have anything else to say so...um...thank you for reading and please, please, please review!_**

****

****

**_---Love, me!_**

__-The bells are ringling, ting ting tingling, too.-__

__-And it's perfect weather for a sleigh ride together with you!-__

**What will happen next, you ask?**

**Does Lily like Sirius?**

**Will James get over Lily any time soon?**

**Will Lily discover James's adoration?**

**Will Sirius ask Lily out?**

**Will Colleen ever stop butting into 'Lillian's' life?**

**Will I ever stop asking questions about Lily?**

**These issues and many more resolved soon!**


	2. CHAPTER 2

  
Devoted  
Chapter 2  
  
Colleen ceased her pacing, "Do you like Sirius Black?"  
  
Lily's mouth fell open, "What kind of question is that? I mean, I never...I don't know where...who would ever think?" She stammered stupidly, searching for a good answer.  
  
Did she like him? It truly was a hard question to answer. She didn't dislike him, obviously; in fact, she was quite attracted to him. She'd wanted that kiss.  
  
The room's door opened and Lily's other friend and dorm-mate, Tina White entered. She was not gorgeous, but simply pretty and attracted people more with her wonderful sense of humor and Quidditch skills. Her light brown hair was extremely curly and her face looked as if she held a permanent blush. Tina had a great figure, made for sports and therefore filled with muscle.  
  
"Cheerio, darling! What's going on?" She asked, putting her books on a nearby table.  
  
Colleen cocked her head. "Hello Tina, I was just asking Lillian whether or not she likes a certain Mr. Black and thus far she has been unable to come up with a straight answer. Would you care to assist me?"  
  
Tina laughed, "But of course! So, a Mr. Black, eh? I daresay a Mr. Sirius Black?"  
  
Lily frowned, "You know what I've never thought about? Your last name is White and his last name is Black."  
  
"Don't try to change the subject, Lillian! Just answer the question; you know you will have to sooner or later!"  
  
"I...I...well, I...sort of...it's just..." Lily couldn't sort out her feelings on the matter. 'Just say you do, they won't be happy until you say yes,' a voice in the back of her head said. "I suppose I do kind of like him, you know, kind of."  
  
Both of her friends squealed, jumping up and down as she sighed in defeat.  
  
"Just don't go telling everyone, though. I'm Head Girl and all those people look up to me and..."  
  
Colleen cut her off, laughing, "And anyone in the common room will know by now since you kissed him."  
  
"You kissed him?!" Tina exclaimed at the same time that Lily shouted out, "I did not kiss him! I almost did."  
  
Her friends exchanged glances and started giggling. Lily just sighed again, "I really have to finish my homework. I'll be in the library if you need me." She got up and left Tina and Colleen laughing.  
  
The common room was quite full, but to Lily's relief and disappointment, the Marauders had left. She climbed through the portrait hole and ambled toward the library, enjoying the rainbows the light created as it streamed through the mullioned windows.  
  
It was a relatively short walk from the Gryffindor tower to the library, but Lily had to stop once and take away house points from two 6th years who were charming a suit of armor to yell rude words.  
  
Finally, Lily arrived in the library and was finished with the majority of her homework by the time the dinner bell rang. She gathered up the rolls of parchment and was reading over her charms essay as she entered the hall.  
  
The purpose of the Parlare charm is to make an inanimate object speak. The item will be able to form and comprehend almost any sentence, but cannot-  
  
"Watch it, Lilybird..."  
  
Lily grimaced, slapping her hand over her mouth. Then, slowly, she raised her stunning green eyes to the smiling face of Sirius.  
  
"How are you, beautiful?" He asked grinning even wider.  
  
She blushed, running her hands nervously over her wavy hair. "I'm...I'm good. How are you?"  
  
"Better, now that you're here." He replied, grabbing her petite hand and walking them toward the dining hall. "You know, Lilybird," he murmured, "I really like you. I mean everything about you. So...I was wondering if maybe...if maybe you might want to go out with me. You know, be my, er, girlfriend?" His voice sounded anxious.  
  
If Lily had been blushing before, it was nothing compared to right then. 'Well, it's all down to this. She thought. 'I could ruin the image I've worked so hard to maintain by going out with this guy. On the other hand...I've never really had a serious boyfriend. Maybe it's time for a new experience.'  
  
Sirius noticed her hesitation. "It's okay, Lily, you don't have to if you don't want to. I just thought I'd-"  
  
"Yes, Sirius, I will go out with you."  
  
He flashed his famous grin before quickly glancing around. "I didn't even notice that we stopped walking! Everyone's in the dining hall already."  
  
Lily looked around laughing, "Let's go in and get some dinner."  
  
Sirius smiled at her again. He just couldn't stop. She said yes! Lily Evans, the most gorgeous girl in school, was his girlfriend!  
  
{*}{*}{*}{*}{*}{*}  
  
James stared enviously as Sirius walked into the dining hall, hand in hand with Lily. And, to add insult to injury, she had never looked happier. Her face was happily flushed, her green eyes, visible from across the room, were shining more brightly than the candles floating above the tables. Sirius said something funny and she laughed, throwing her head back. Her hair caught the light and glittered. Since when in hell does hair 'glitter'?  
  
'That's Padfoot's bird now; best keep my eyes off her.' He said bitterly to himself. The mashed potatoes he had been eating were beginning to taste like sawdust.  
  
With a clamor, Lily and Sirius slid onto the bench across from James. He noticed acidly that neither could stop smiling. "Hello Padfoot...Evans."  
  
Lily stopped smiling and looked across the table seriously. "James, I'm really sorry about any disagreements we've had in the past. I think we should be, um, friends now, since I'm going out with your best mate and all." She exchanged a sheepish grin with Sirius. "I mean, I want you to call me Lily, ok?"  
  
He looked up and gave a half grin. "Sure, Ev-Lily."  
  
Remus looked down the table from where he was sitting at the other end with Peter. He watched James look despairingly back into his plate.  
  
Somehow, he had this feeling that Lily was meant more for James than Sirius, no matter how happy they looked.  
  
{*}{*}{*}{*}{*}{*}  
  
Well, sorry that was so short and sorry it took so long! I hoped you enjoyed this chapter...was it worth the wait?  
  
I can't believe how many reviews I got! I really, really hope this lived up to everyone's expectations!  
  
Thank you:  
  
LatentBeauty  
  
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Jinger  
  
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Anonymous  
  
Soccergirl2005  
  
Kyra4 ( My wonderful beta!!  
  
Sunny Skies  
  
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Fizban hat  
  
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Your excellent reviews really made my, er, month!  
  
***Chapter one correction: Did anyone notice that I gave two last names for Colleen? Her real one is Zerbato...sorry about the confusion.  
  
_-*Springtime is almost here*-_  
_-*Oh boy Oh dear*-_ 


	3. chapter 3

Devoted

Chapter 3

Lily's footsteps echoed loudly around her as she walked from Gryffindor tower to her Head Girl bedroom. Her heart was filled to the bursting point with happiness. She would have run and leapt and skipped all the way to her room, but what if the other students saw Miss Perfect running around?  
  
Her red hair fluttered as she gave an involuntary shudder. But, as much as that idea troubled her, Lily could not be annoyed.  
  
After dinner, Lily had walked with Sirius to Gryffindor tower before remembering that she had her own room now. Her boyfriend (Lily grinned at the thought) had been so polite and gallant, asking to escort her back. She declined his offer but placed a small, chaste kiss on his lips before uttering goodbye.  
  
Lily stopped in front of an empty wall. "Shooting Star," she murmured and a wide, oak door sprung up in front of her.  
  
The common room and bedrooms she and the Head Boy had received were beautiful beyond words. A fireplace hosted dancing flames on the far wall. Surrounding it were two luxurious, cream colored chairs. The plush carpet was the same cream color. The walls were painted a soft, light blue with silver filigree carved into the crown molding. The ceiling was made from extremely light colored panels of wood, and from the middle, a small, silver chandelier hung gracefully.  
  
The common room door clicked open and Lily turned around curiously. The Head Boy, Jon Esperto usually went to the library after dinner with his girlfriend, Kristi Lohan to "study".  
  
"Hey, Jon, what are you doing here so early?" Lily asked, smiling at him and his girlfriend as they walked in.  
  
Jon rushed past her towards his own room, "Just forgot my books. I'll be back in a second, Kristi." He closed his bedroom door leaving the two girls alone in the common room.  
  
"So..." Lily began.  
  
Kristi smirked. "So, look at Sirius's new whore."  
  
Lily opened her mouth to retort, but the words were stuck in her throat. She had only been going out with the guy for a few hours and already rumors were circulating. Her image was being torn to the ground.  
  
"I'm not his...his..." Her face was getting redder and redder. Probably clashing horribly with her hair.  
  
Kristi snorted, her grey eyes gleaming cruelly. "Not his...his whore?" She mocked. "Not his slut? That's the only kind of girl Sirius goes out with, honey. The easy kind."  
  
Woops, that was just one word too far. Lily's fists balled up as her eyes narrowed dangerously. "I am not a slut and I am not easy and Sirius likes me for who I am." Her words cut sharply through the air.  
  
Kristi's smug smile grew wider. "Yeah, he told me that this summer, too." She whispered evilly.  
  
Lily's mouth fell open and she raised her hand to slap the dark haired girl in front of her.  
  
"Ok, Kristi, I got the books. Are you ready to go?" Jon strode into the room, completely oblivious to the situation.  
  
"Yeah. See you later, Lily." Kristi purred, exiting into the hallway.  
  
Lily let her hand fall heavily to the side. Why hadn't she realized this was going to happen? Why didn't she think about Sirius's reputation of using girls?  
  
She walked slowly to a door bearing her name in sliver writing. Her body was going to explode with emotion. She was angry and sad and happy all at once.  
  
The lavish bed held no comfort for Lily as she lay down fully clothed. Should she risk everything she had managed to build or have a little fun for once?  
  
Sleep tugged at Lily, making her eyelids heavy. She turned over on her side and the last thing she saw was an image of Sirius's face, grinning lopsidedly at her. She couldn't break things off.  
  
{}{}{}8{}{}{}  
  
The weekend flashed by and before she knew it, Lily was shoved into a population of female students who now hated her. As she and Sirius walked to their classes hand in hand, the other girls gathered tightly together and whispered hurriedly.  
  
"All of those girls are talking about me," she whispered to Sirius as they made their way to Transfiguration.  
  
He laughed. "They're just jealous."  
  
"Jealous of me?" Lily smiled at him. "My, aren't we full of our self?"  
  
"No, Lilybird," he answered as they queued up in front of the door, "They're jealous of me! Isn't it obvious they all want you?"  
  
"Wha..." She began to retort as the door opened and silence descended over the class.  
  
"Today," McGonagall began as the students filed in, "we will continue human transfiguration. Please pair up and practice the spell on one another."  
  
Lily and Sirius headed for the back of the classroom as James, now without his best mate, paired with Remus.  
  
"What kind of animal do you want to be, Moony?" He asked as jets of light issued from other wands and people started baaing and chirping.  
  
Remus shrugged, "I don't know. What are you going to do about Sirius and Lily?"  
  
James flicked his wand, turning his friend into a toad. "Why do you have to bring that up now?" He flicked his wand again and Remus was human once more.  
  
"I don't know...because you're torn up about it and I think she would look better with you anyway." He answered as he turned James into a parrot.  
  
"Really?" James squawked before Remus transfigured him into a person again.  
  
"Would I lie to you, Prongs?" He asked as he became a duck.  
  
"No..." James answered, bringing Remus back to his normal self. "But I can't do anything." He turned and looked at his other friend and Lily. They looked like they were having the time of their lives. "Oh well," James put on a forced smile, "I've never had trouble picking up birds before, I'm sure I'll find someone else."  
  
"Prongs, don't give up yet. You know how Sirius is with girls."  
  
He looked away. "Ah, Moony, but he really likes the girl this time."

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_**Sob, sob, sob Don't you feel sorry for James??  
  
Thank you once again to all my beautiful reviewers! Hope this was quick enough for you!  
  
OH! Concerning reviews: I'm going to ask for TEN reviews before I update. Not that I'm selfish and want more and more lovely notes, but because it gives me extra time to write chapters! So, after the tenth thingy, I will update.**  
  
Thank you:  
  
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-It's been a hard days night-  
-And I've been working like a Dog- _


	4. CHAPTER 4

**Devoted**

Chapter 4

************

            Friday afternoon found James, Lily, Remus and Sirius walking to the Great Hall from Potions.  As they passed the library, Sirius mentioned that he needed a book for homework and left the other three waiting in the hallway.  Remus excused himself and entered the library as well.

            Lily and James waited outside for them uncomfortably.  

            "So I guess they are starting Quidd-"  

"The Professors are really working u-"

They started at the same time.  Lily blushed lightly and looked at the ground.

            James squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment.   The minutes passed awkwardly.  

            Severus Snape walked into the hallway and smirked.  "If it isn't the little 

Mudblood whore!  'Course, I'd like a piece of that ass too."  

            Lily's face flushed crimson and James glared angrily.  Neither noticed when Sirius and Remus walked out again.

            James took a step towards the greasy haired boy in front of him.  "What did you say, Snape?"

            "Oh Potter, didn't know you were fucking her too.  But I suppose with dirty sluts like her, you all take a turn, eh?"

            James swung his arm and punched Snape's nose with a satisfying crunch.  "Don't you **EVER** talk about Lily like that!  You slimy twit."  He shoved him away.    Lily gasped at the abrupt violence and backed up. 

            Severus narrowed his eyes before stalking away.  "You think you're so cool, strutting about like you own the place.  Mark my words, Potter, you will get yours."  

James sneered and turned around, breathing heavily.  "Lily, are you okay?"

            She nodded and turned her gaze up to Sirius who was looking at his friend with a mixture of disgust and anger.

            "Lilybird, why don't you and Remus go on to dinner?  Prongs and I will meet you there."

            She nodded and left alongside Remus.  Sirius turned back to James, shoving him hard against the stone wall.

            "What the hell did you think you were doing?"  He snapped, dropping his books on the ground.

            James pushed Sirius away and took a step forward.  "Well, I wasn't going to stand by and let that ugly git call Lily a slut."

            "She doesn't need you to protect her, James!"  Sirius yelled.  "She's got a boyfriend to do that for her and it's me."  He scooped up his books and marched quickly into the Great Hall as the librarian stuck her head into the hallway.

            James watched his friend's retreating back angrily.  He hated him for going out with Lily.  Hated him for liking her, forgetting his friends.

            "Move along, Mr. Potter," Madam Pince snapped.

            He snatched his bag from the floor and followed the hallway into the Great Hall.  James sat down and listened to the stubborn silence that had suddenly overcome Sirius.

            Lily sat at her boyfriend's side, quietly whispering to Colleen.  Every once in a while, she snuck terrified glances at James, as though he would suddenly lash out again.

***********************

            James and Remus followed Lily and Sirius as they walked to Gryffindor Tower to say goodnight before Lily went to the Heads' tower.  They waited silently as the couple hugged and parted ways.

            Lily walked away by herself and James couldn't help but watch.  Her hips swung in a way she didn't know was sexy.  Her red curls trembled as she gave a small shiver and wrapped her arms around her body.

            "Sirius is gone, why don't you go after her?  I promise I won't say anything."  Remus whispered before climbing into the portrait hole.

            _Why shouldn't I…do…something?_  James asked himself.  He was in a rebellious, reckless mood from his fight with Sirius and took off after the girl of his dreams.

            He ran off in the direction she had left.  Crazy images swept through his mind.  Lily and him kissing, holding each other, making love.  Her glorious auburn hair surrounding her face like a halo.  Her mesmerizing green eyes gazing at him with adoration.  

            The images that swam in front of him disappeared as he crashed into the real and frightened looking girl.

            "Lily."  He murmured simply, gazing at her porcelain face.

            She looked into his hazel eyes.  "What?"  She snapped, sounding more anxious then she had intended to.

            "Lily," James said again, his voice cracking slightly, "I…I know this isn't the right time and I know I'm not the right person…"  _Faint heart never won fair lady; faint heart never won fair lady._  "I like you Lily Evans."

            Her mouth widened, whether in shock or to speak, but James didn't give her a chance.  He leaned in and placed a kiss on her lips laced with all the passion he had felt throughout the years.

            She wanted to pull back, _needed_ to pull back but the kiss was weakening her resistance, killing off senses left and right.  _This is bad!  _Her brain screamed.  _I have a boyfriend!_

            Before she could do a thing, he pulled away.  "James," she whispered, "I can't do this."

            "I know you can't, Lily."  He placed a small kiss on the corner of her mouth and walked away.

            She gingerly touched the spot where he had last kissed her.  Even that little gesture had been filled with emotion.

            Lily turned around slowly, pointing her feet once again towards her tower.  She thought about James and tried to comprehend him.

*******************

            James woke Saturday morning, put his glasses on and glanced groggily around the room.  Sirius was already gone but Remus sat on the other side of the room, reading a dusty novel.

            James threw his legs over the bed and shook his head.  He had been having an excellent dream about Lily.  She had been beautiful and he had kissed her.  

_Kissed her?_

            "Oh…"  He groaned as memories from last night flooded back.  "I kissed her."

            Remus looked over the top of his book and smiled coyly.  "You didn't…  What did she do?"

            "She…she didn't really do anything…but tell me that she couldn't be kissing me."  James cradled his now throbbing head in his hands.  "If I thought Sirius was mad at me before…"

            Remus carefully marked his place in the book and shut it.  "I don't think he'll be any more pissed off."

            James leapt from his bed.  "Won't be any madder than last night?  Are you fucking crazy, Moony?  I kissed…and not just a little peck either…I _really_ kissed Lily!"  He shouted insanely.

            "Calm down, mate.  Do you really think Lily is going to say anything to Sirius?"

James opened his mouth to shout some more but stopped suddenly.  "No, I guess not."

Remus continued patiently.  "So…what are you freaking out about?"

"Nothing."  James replied, breathing deeply.  "Except that I kissed the girl I've always wanted to kiss."  He smiled to himself.  "That's something, don't you think?"

"Yeah, Prongs.  It bloody well is."  Remus answered, re-opening his novel.

                                                            *******************

_Yeah, I hate to end it so short, but I was running out of things to put in the chapter and, and, and…that's about it.  So, what do you think???  Can you believe that crazy kid, James?  Kissing Lily…That's terrible!  Heeheehee.  And, is Remus right?  Will Lily keep the kiss a secret??  I dunno!_

_Anyway, I want to ask once again for 10 reviews before the next chapter.  I know it'll be hard with this tiny chapter, but try your hardest! _

_And a big, fat thank you to:_

**Little-sunandstars**

**Jinger******

**Eihwas**** and Lourdaise--------- **_See__ my profile for the James/Head boy             controversy_

**MaDlY**** iN lOvE wItH yOu 1126**

**Latentbeauty****----------**_ Also see my profile_

**kelly******

**Tyster******

**Kyra4**

**Amethyst Yuki**

_Not quite 10 reviews, but I'll settle.  Next time however, I'm going to really try and wait for all10 reviews!_

__-*Happy birthday to me*-__

__-*Happy birthday dear me*-__


	5. chapter 5

**Devoted**

Chapter 5

The next week went awkwardly for Lily and James. When they were together she was constantly worried that he might try to do something again and he was afraid that she might have said something to Sirius.

Lily watched him through their Charms class, trying to delve into his mind. _What is thinking right now? Is he thinking about me? Does he want to kiss me again? Did he kiss me just to get back at Sirius?_

"Hey Lillian," Colleen called distantly. "What's up with you? Charms is your favorite class, why aren't you paying attention?"

To tell or not to tell, it was something Lily had been struggling with all week. It was not in her nature to keep secrets from Colleen. Actually, it was to not in her nature to have secrets at all. And the closer she got to Sirius, the harder it was to remain untruthful to him.

"It's just…I'm just tired, is all." Lily answered lamely. As much as she wanted to spill her guts, she didn't want to get James in trouble.

Colleen sighed. "I am too. But you know what? It's Friday and I think that we, that is all the girls from the old dorm room, should have a girl's night out…or in. We all need to just relax and catch up. Especially with you, I mean, I'm your best friend and I don't even know what's going on with you anymore!"

Lily pouted as she turned towards Colleen. "We really shouldn't… Do you realize how much homewo-"

Colleen slapped her hand over Lily's mouth. "Shut up."

Cautiously, she removed her hand.

"But, Colleen, seriously, we really nee-"

Colleen shook her finger. "No Lily. Be quiet now." The bell signaling lunch sounded and she stood up and collected her books. "I'll see you at 7:00 tonight." Then she turned on her heel and strode from the classroom.

"But my homework, Colleen!" Lily shouted at the empty doorway. "Oh, bloody hell."

"Miss Evans!" Professor Flitwick squeaked, making her jump.

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At seven o'clock sharp, Lily walked into the Gryffindor 7th year girls' dorm. Tina was stretched across her bed reading a Quidditch magazine lazily. She was the only one in the room.

"Lily, darling," she drawled, not looking up from her article, "is it possible for you to ever be late at all?"

Lily sighed, "You know I don't like being behind schedule for anything"

Tina read the last sentence and shut the magazine. "I think that you should be really daring sometime and come 5 minutes later than you had planned." She narrowed her eyes humorously.

The door crashed open as Lily set down her duffel bag. "Lillian!" Colleen cried kissing her best friend on the cheek. "I see you're on time as usual!"

Lily rolled her eyes and waved at the three girls behind Colleen. "Hello Kylie and Veronica and Mals."

The three girls were inseparable. Kylie and Mals, short for Mallory, looked almost identical. Both had shoulder length brown-blonde hair and light blue eyes. Kylie had tanner skin, though, and was about two inches taller. Veronica was a strikingly pretty black girl with dark eyes and thinly braided hair.

They smiled in sync at Lily and walked to their respective beds.

Colleen grabbed Lily and pulled towards her old bed. "Guess what the threesome and I snagged?" She yelled excitedly.

Lily exchanged glances with Tina and shrugged. "What did you snag?"

Colleen grinned and pulled from her book bag two large bottles of Firewhiskey.

Kylie, Veronica, and Mals giggled eagerly.

Lily threw her hands up. "Colleen! First you drag me here when I could be doing my homework or spending time with my boyfriend and now you're whipping out alcohol!"

Tina groaned loudly. "Give it a rest and have some fun for once, Lily!" Kylie, Veronica, and Mals all nodded solemnly.

"Besides Lillian, you're among friends! I promise that if you make an arse out of yourself, I won't tell anyone and neither will they. We'll even make a vow that anything that happens in here tonight will stay between the six of us, agreed?"

Everyone nodded, including Lily, though she did it half heartedly. Getting wasted was the last thing she needed.

Colleen's smile spread. "Alright, let's get this party started!"

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"You-know," Lily slurred, wagging her finger at the other girls, "I wasn't sure about this at first…but I'm-I'm really havin' fun, y'know?"

The six of them were sitting in a circle on the floor. They were half way through the second bottle of whiskey which was standing in the middle of the ring. They had been very large bottles.

Colleen nodded seriously. "I know what you mean Lilli…Lillia…Lillin." She took another sip from the bottle and blew out a breath full of smoke, amusing all of them. "I also know why they call this stuff Firewhiskey now. It kind of burns your throat, like fire."

"E-zactly what I was thinkin'," nodded Kylie. "O'ly more like a…a…what's it called? More like a flame or something."

They all nodded at this and passed the bottle around.

Colleen slammed her hand on the ground. "Okay, down to business. Waddya guys wanna do?"

Lily stood up, wobbled, and promptly fell back down. "Let's not go anywhere." She grabbed the bottle and took a swig. "I think we should jus talk 'cause tha's why we had this girls' night in, right? Don't you think so?"

"I think I did say tha' to you Lillin. 'Cause you're always gone now."

Lily nodded. "Yeah, well I'm going out with Sirius and all. He takes up a lot of time. But I always do my homework, 'cept for tonight."

"Tha's right, Lily, and a damn fine job you're doin'!" Tina called out raising the Firewhiskey. "How are things goin' for you and Sirius?"

"Oh, really good. He's, like, really nice to me and he calls me something. I don't know what it is but nobody else calls me that."

Colleen nodded, "I know what it is but I can't remember either."

"Yeah," Lily said. "But I'm 'fraid he's going to be mad at me."

Veronica took a drink and cocked her head. "Why'll he be mad atcha?"

"Well, I shouldn' say n'ything to you all but I was goin' to my room one night and James kissed me. Can you believe tha'? And he's Sirius's best friend kind of like Colleen is my best friend and if she kissed Sirius…well I'd be really mad."

Tina looked mystified yet nonchalant. "Why did he do somethin' like that?"

Lily shrugged. "I dunno, he just said he liked me but you never know because he could 'ave been drunk or stoned, I dunno. But you can't tell n'ybody 'cause it's a secret. Shhhhh!"

Even in her drunken stupor, Lily had the feeling that this had been the best time out of any to release her secret and her conscience. None of her friends had looked in the least bit surprised by the information and the chances of them remembering were slim to none. Still, Lily could not help feeling relieved as Tina changed the subject to Quidditch.

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Meanwhile, in the boys' dorm, James and Peter were lazily playing Exploding Snap. Remus was not around because tonight was the start of a full moon. There had been no adventure planned for the Maurderers tonight because James and Sirius had been at such loggerheads and they had hardly spoken two words to each other since the last week.

The door slammed opened and Peter screamed effeminately because his cards had exploded and singed his eyebrows.

Sirius marched in, grinning from ear to ear. "James, I'm really sorry that I yelled at you for standing up to Snape. I guess it was something I should have been doing and tonight I've set up a prank to get back at that slimy prat."

James smiled; glad to have his friend back. "Excellent! What did you do?"

"You know how curious he is about what we're up to once a month? Poking his enormous nose where it doesn't belong, more like!" Sirius chuckled mischievously.

James's smile became plastered on. "Yeah…" What was Sirius planning? Anything involving Remus during the full moon was dangerous.

"Well, I just sent him an anonymous note," Padfoot continued, "telling him to simply prod the knot under the Whomping Willow to see what we did!"

The smile on James's face was now replaced with a look of horror. "You realize that he will come face to face with an unsafe werewolf when he does that, right? What if Moony bites him?"

Sirius scoffed. "Oh, come on, it'd serve the git right!"

James didn't say anything but simply rushed out of the dorm and the Gryffindor tower hoping that no one would hear his feet pounding against the stone.

Finally he reached the main door and threw it open, trying to catch his breath. He quickly glanced across the terrain and saw Snape sneaking towards the ominous Whomping Willow.

"Snape!" James cried, startling the figure creeping across the grounds. "Stop! Don't go in there!" He couldn't continue this conversation yelling for the whole school to hear so he ran towards his enemy.

"Listen to me; you can't go in that passage. It's more dangerous than you could possibly imagine."

Snape sneered and continued walking. "Why don't you fuck off?"

James grabbed Snape's arm and pulled him back.

"Get your hands off me, Potter!"

James tightened his grip. "If you walk down that tunnel you will meet a full grown and extremely treacherous werewolf."

Snape's face paled but he continued with his façade. "Sure I will, Potter." He snapped but no longer struggled against James's hold.

"No, you've got to listen to me…" The minutes passed slowly as James tried to come up with a reason that would get Snape to give up his search. Suddenly-

"What are you two boys doing out here?!" Screeched Madam Pomfrey, the school nurse. James let out a sigh of relief. "You are both severely past curfew and these grounds are unsafe after dark! Fifty points from both of your houses and your lucky I'm not one to give out detentions! Now, both of you inside and to your dorms at once!" She looked absolutely furious- and terrified.

The three of them walked quickly to the castle with Madam Pomfrey continually whispering things like, "Merlin, when I think of what could have happened." James knew what she was thinking because he was thinking the same thing. _What if Remus had bitten one of them? The Whomping Willow is a protection, not a solution._

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The best thing about really good friends is that they are able to laugh off mistakes and differences. And even though they still get angry with each other over stupid things like boyfriends and girlfriends, they are willing to forgive and forget.

But all the same, James could not help feeling relieved when Sirius laughed off his misguided attempt at a prank. It was nice having his friend back.

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Monday morning, Lily walked towards the Gryffindor table with a blatant grin. It was incredibly_, indescribably_ wonderful to see everyone on the right footing once again. Colleen was sitting across from Remus, flirting shamelessly. James was sitting to the right of Sirius engrossed in some conversation, though he appeared just happy to be on speaking terms again. Peter was trying his hardest to join into their discussion.

She watched them for a minute before sliding next to Sirius and kissing him on the cheek.

Lily liked to kiss him in the morning when his face was smooth and soft from being freshly shaven. In the evening, his face had a light layer of stubble that prickled her face.

_James's face hadn't been stubbly that night that he had kissed her. It was soft and his lips were as smooth and wonderful as Sirius's cheek._

"Hey Lilybird, do you want some pumpkin juice or something?" A charmingly deep voice interrupted her thoughts.

Lily jumped, "Wha… Oh, sure, pumpkin juice." She could feel her cheeks blush deeply. _As if Sirius could see what she was thinking about._

She watched James as he chatted animatedly with Remus. His eyes were so brown they looked black and they sparkled when he laughed. With a startled lurch of her heart, she remembered how his kiss had made her weak.

_Please kiss me again, make my senses disappear, make my world disintegrate._

Lily's stomach flipped with this unwelcome thought. She was falling in love with Sirius Black. Wasn't she? _Wasn't she?_

0000000000 ! 0000000000

**_Hey! I just wanted to write a chapter that would incorporate some of the actual Harry Potter book. So, what do you think of Lily abandoning all principles and getting drunk off her ass? And what about her spilling James's kiss??? And wanting to kiss him again???? Da Da Da! Cool beans. This was just a buffer chapter to get some conversation in there and I promise that you will see some more Lily/James action soon!_**

****

**_Once again, 10 reviews for a new chapter!_**

****

**Thank you:**

Niux

xxSpAzZiExx

Eihwaz and Lourdaise

MasterDeath

Jinger

Kyra4

PRETTY/PIXIE

Doodles2

starlett13

Star19

_THANK YOU **MasterDeath**and **Eihwaz**** and Lourdaise** for very correctly pointing out the passage in which Hagrid tells Harry that both Lily and James were Head students. You definitely proved me wrong!! However, I won't be changing the story just for that. At least not right now. I might get back to it when I completely finish the story. Thank you once again!_


	6. CHAPTER 6

Devoted

Chapter 6

Lily's nerves were on edge. She was definitely kind of, sort of liking James a little bit more than a girl with a boyfriend should. Her way of solving this was to avoid him at all costs.  
  
She carefully turned a corner, scanning the crowd in front of her.  
  
"Agh!" Lily let out a muffled scream as she saw him at the end of the hall. She quickly turned around the corner and crouched behind a suit of armor, ignoring the strange looks she was getting.  
  
"Um, Lilybird?" A voice whispered into her ear. "Who are you hiding from?"  
  
Lily fell backwards and crashed into the armor stirring up a lot of noise and dust.  
  
Sirius had jumped away and was now staring at her with the rest of the students.  
  
She blushed crimson, as redheads have a tendency to do, and chuckled nervously. "Hiding? Me? Why would you think such a thing? Let's go to class." She stood up and grabbed Sirius's hand, dragging him down the corridor.  
  
"Lilybird...why were you hiding behind the armor then?"  
  
Her ivory skin flushed again. "No reason, just looking for something," she answered evasively, pushing in the door to their potions class.  
  
As they sat down in their respective seats, Professor Tatory entered the classroom. She was a strict, yet fair teacher that was respected by students and teachers alike.  
  
"Today we will be working on the levitation potion. This brew is very complex and unlike its counterpart charm Wigardium Leviosa, it has a much higher range. I will allow you to choose partners if you wish. There is an odd number of you so one group will have to be made up of three people. You have one hour; directions are at the front of the classroom."  
  
Lily and Sirius paired up and Colleen, Remus, and James decided to be the group of three.  
  
Lily and Sirius began concocting their potion immediately. Sirius added the ingredients while Lily read the directions to him.  
  
"Ok, you've stirred it counter-clockwise seven times so you can add the billywig wing now."  
  
"Yes my beautiful Lilybird!" He replied, smiling cheekily at her. Unfortunately, this somewhat revolting display of affection caused Sirius to throw in the slivers of bicorn root instead, which in turn caused the potion to blow up, completely covering him.  
  
Dozens of tiny blue welts began to appear all over Sirius and he seemed unable to talk.  
  
"Mr. Black, please see yourself to the nurse's office!" Tatory shouted over the murmurings of the class. "One of you in the group of three, pair up with Miss Evans. Back to work everyone, you have forty-five minutes left."  
  
Colleen smiled and got up to help Lily but Remus pulled her back. "Hey, why don't you let James go over there?"  
  
Both James and Colleen looked at him as though he was mad, but reluctantly the latter sat down.  
  
James walked over to Lily nervously; her back was to him. He had been dreaming of their kiss lately. Well, actually they were doing more than kissing, but he wasn't going to start thinking about that...  
  
"Um...Lily..." He muttered, his voice cracking slightly.  
  
She jumped and fell backwards. "What are you doing over here?"  
  
"Well, being your partner, I guess."  
  
Lily blushed prettily. "Oh, yeah, that's fine." She began preparing the ingredients again.  
  
"Lils, are we ever going to talk about what happened? It kind of meant something to me and I think it did for you too."  
  
She squeezed her eyes shut, creating red, swirling dots. "No, we're not going to talk about it, I don't know what I thought about it except that it freaked me out, and don't call me Lils...its what my sister calls...used to call me."  
  
James sighed, "I wasn't kidding when I said I liked you." He whispered.  
  
Lily opened her magnificent green eyes. "What the hell is your problem, James? I am going out with your best friend. Your best fucking friend! And maybe I did enjoy kissing you and maybe it did mean something to me but, argh, I just don't get you."  
  
"So, you liked it!" James gave her a wide smile.  
  
"Oh my gosh!" Lily threw her hands into the air. "This is exactly what I mean!"  
  
"Your potions should be completely brewed by now. Please encase a sample and bring it to my desk for grading." Professor Tatory announced.  
  
Lily looked at her empty cauldron. "And now you've talked away the entire class period. Thanks to you I'm going to be getting a zero today. A zero...I don't get zeros."  
  
"You do today. Come on; let's go up to your dormitory Lily. I really think we should talk about this some more."  
  
Lily looked horrified. "Are you kidding? We still have another class before dinner."  
  
James grabbed her hand. "Why don't you live a little?" He whispered before pulling her out of the class and into the hallway. "You lead the way; I have no idea where it is."  
  
"Fine, but you owe me, Potter." Lily took off at a brisk walk towards her beautiful chambers. James was having a difficult time keeping up.  
  
After a very quick five minute walk, they arrived at the Head Tower.  
  
"So talk, James. You're the one who wanted to come up here and discuss this matter."  
  
He shrugged. "Eh, I didn't want to talk anymore. I just wanted to do this." He pulled her petite frame towards him and kissed her. James could feel her almost melting into the embrace and when he deepened the kiss Lily didn't object. In fact, she snaked her arms around his neck and started kissing him back.  
  
Still locked at the lips, they stumbled over to the cushy sofa, falling onto it.  
  
"I don't know why I'm doing this," Lily murmured huskily. Her lips were slightly swollen and her eyes were a much deeper, more passionate green than ever before.  
  
She drew towards James placing soft, tentative kisses on his lower lip before intensifying things again.  
  
James could hardly believe what was happening. Lily was kissing him without pulling away or objecting. She was actually initiating some of it. He reached over and began to tug at the buttons on her blouse.  
  
Suddenly she pulled away, grabbing his hand. "James, no. I...I...can't. This is going too far. You should probably leave." Lily ran her hand through her mussed spitfire hair.  
  
He nodded and sighed. "You're right. You're always right."  
  
"Oh, so Mr. I'm-so-perfect-and-smart Potter can admit when he is wrong!" Lily laughed, crossing her arms.  
  
James pulled his face into a sad puppy dog look, complete with sorrowful brown eyes. "You know you love me."  
  
Lily drove him towards the exit. "Just a little bit, but don't push your luck! I'll see you later." She gave him a small kiss on his bottom lip before opening the door and letting him out.  
  
She turned around with a small smile. On the other side of the doorway, Lily heard James say, "Hey, you love me a little!" 

ooooooooooooooooooooooo  
  
_**Nudge, nudge! A little bit of Lily and James action for those of you who were begging...silly, silly. But don't think that just because they like to kiss each other that I'm going to make it that easy. It's going to take a little while, but in the meantime, new loves will be found, hearts will be broken, backs will be stabbed, and James and Lily will kiss. Until then!**_  
  
_ Thank you:  
Charming Visions—I read your story and really enjoyed it! I hope you  
continue!  
  
xxSpAzZiExx—I feel sorry for Sirius too, he's going to be one sad puppy. Hahaha...get it?? A "puppy"?? Hmm-hmm, cough.  
  
Star19—I'm glad you loved it! Yay!  
  
Me—I hope you come back a read again!  
  
Jinger—I hope this was fast enough for you! I'm so happy that you liked my last chapter! Woop woop.  
  
Kyra4—Thank you for being the greatest beta ever! Experience for the drunk scene? Moi? Not, poor, innocent me! Hee hee hee.  
  
Starlett13—I promise I will not abandon this fic until I am completely finished as long as you keep reviewing! LoL.  
  
Yourstruley—I'm glad you like the plot. I do too because it's something that not everyone is doing, which makes it interesting to read and write.  
  
Andrew-needs-to write—Was the movie that bad?? I'm going to see it next week. Well, hopefully it wasn't as bad as the 1st/2nd...  
  
Jesse—Thank you, thank you!  
  
**Ok, ok. As usual ten reviews for an update. My goal is to get 100 by the ninth chapter which is ambitious but if everyone who reads this just presses that little button I think it could work! So...what are you waiting for? REVIEW!**_


	7. chapter 7

Devoted

Chapter 7

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Lily knocked on Jon's door once again. It was nearly midnight and they still had to patrol the hallways for late night stragglers.

"Jon! Jon, are you in there?!" She yelled as loud as she could muster. He was one hell of a sleeper. "Fine Esperto, I'm coming in there right now!" No answer. "I'm serious Jon; I'm going to come into your chambers!" But the room remained silent.

Lily shifted nervously before turning the silver doorknob. A sconce on the wall to her right erupted with flames as she entered the room. In front of her was an empty bed, still neatly made.

"That little prat…" She muttered under her breath, exiting the room.

Lily grabbed her cloak and departed the tower walking quickly to Dumbledore's office.

The gargoyle that guarded his headquarters spiraled into a staircase as she marched up, hissing the password.

Finally she arrived, pushing the large, oak doors open. She was slightly surprised to see Dumbledore sitting at his desk, dressed in light blue robes, and gazing serenely at a strange silver object.

"Miss Evans. I saw you coming and figured that I had best be ready for you," he said, as if anticipating her question.

Lily shook her hair from her face. "Oh…I just came up here because I was due to begin the nightly patrol with Jon but he was missing from the Heads' tower."

Dumbledore nodded and stood up. "I see. In that case I shall commence rounds with you. If either one of us finds Mr. Esperto, we should let the other know."

"Yes, sir." The headmaster and Lily left the beautiful office together and stepped into the hallway.

Dumbledore turned toward her. "I will patrol the bottom levels and you can take the top. If you see Jon, recite the incantation _Retractum__ Personia_ and I shall appear instantly at your side. In the event that I find him first, I will do the same for you."

Lily nodded and headed to the ever changing staircase. Quietly she made her way to the fourth floor to begin inspection.

When she had first discovered that Jon was not in his room she had been angry. But now Lily was just worried. The dark arts were on the rise and those practicing them within the school at an all time high. What if he, holding such high rank as Head Boy, had been targeted for capture? What if he was being tortured? Was it safe for _her_ to be wandering the hallways alone?

Lily gave a convulsive shudder. These new cults of dark witches and wizards scared her immensely. They were killing families, both Muggle and magical, left and right.

As little as she knew of the head boy, the thought of him suffering at the hands of these people was upsetting to say the least.

Lily continued her search through the top four floors looking for a sign of Jon, but the halls were understandably, yet unsettlingly, quiet.

Suddenly, as she was opening the door to the West Tower, Lily felt her body being lifted and her surroundings disappeared into a white mist.

Then, as quickly as this had occurred, she felt her feet touch the solid ground of the Library.

Lily saw Dumbledore in front of her staring at a body, wrapped in blankets on the floor.

"Oh my God! This isn't true! They did get Jon, oh my God, oh my God! He's dead!" She dry sobbed.

The headmaster turned towards her, looking angry and oddly aged as the candle light flickered across his face. "Please calm down, Miss Evans. No one has been murdered tonight. The only crime was against my trust."

Lily took a sharp intact of breath. "Wha…?" Dumbledore motioned to the pile of blankets behind him. She took a closer look and was shocked to find the revered head boy and his girlfriend Kristi covered only by the sheets and looking extremely embarrassed.

"And now, Lily, I think it is best you leave. Mr. Esperto will have his title and privileges taken away and I will arrange for a new head boy."

She nodded and turned silently to go.

"Ah, and Miss Evans," Dumbledore spoke loudly. "Please speak of this to no one."

Lily nodded again. "Of course, professor."

She exited and made her way to the Heads' tower, clenching her teeth angrily. _And to think I was worried about that bloody prat! He wasn't in any danger; he was just fucking that Goddamn WHORE of a girlfriend._

Lily would have loved to tell the whole school that the girl who had called her a slut was caught having sex in the library, but she had promised Dumbledore…

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"Did you hear about that seventh year Kristi and her boyfriend? You know, the Head Boy?" An overly excited third year screamed at her friend as they walked to the Great Hall for breakfast. "They were caught by Dumbledore last night in the Library having you-know-what?"

The friend stared, "Wait…what were they having?"

"They were, you know…" The third year looked around and continued in a whisper that could be heard within a five mile radius. "They were shagging!"

"Oh…I see!" Her naïve friend said as they passed a certain Lily Evans and Colleen Zerbato.

Colleen rounded on Lily, smiling. "Whoa…is that true?"

Lily's hands flew to her eyes, covering them like a two year old trying to protect herself.

"So it _did_ happen?" Colleen grinned even wider, reminding Lily of the Cheshire Cat.

"You knew about it before? How in the world did anyone know? It was supposed to be a complete secret!"

Colleen shrugged. "Sirius told the rest of the guys and me in the common room this morning. I guess all of Gryffindor Tower heard. But that doesn't matter… It really happened?"

"How did he know?" Lily exclaimed loudly before rushing into the Great Hall.

"Wow, I can't believe it's true!" Colleen muttered in her wake.

Lily practically ran into the dining hall and quickly found her boyfriend, Sirius. He was seated at the Gryffindor table, shoveling food into his mouth while talking rapidly to a bleary eyed Peter.

"Sirius!" She called out. "How did you know about Jon and Kristi?"

He immediately stopped eating and looked at Lily. Peter also opened his eyes a bit wider. "I think we should have an emergency Marauder's meeting," Sirius sighed.

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Lily shivered and wrapped her arms around her stomach, glad, for a change, of her heavy cloak.

After she had confronted Sirius about the whole Jon/Kristi situation, he had led her and Peter to a very small hidden chamber in the dungeons and sent an owl to James and Remus.

Finally, when everyone in the group was present, Sirius called the "emergency meeting" into session.

"Um, ok. Lily's going to be an honorary member today! I think that we should tell her about the map," he announced, huddling them all into a small circle.

James looked over at the red-headed girl and smiled. He could tell she was trying not to look at him directly and so he continued to stare at her.

Lily was indeed avoiding James's steady gaze. "What map? What does this have to do with Jon and Kristi?" She asked, trying to ignore him.

Sirius plastered a smug smile on his face. "Well, Lilybird. Back in the day, James, Remus, Peter, and I made the Marauder's Map. We explored every inch of the grounds and found most, if not all of the secret passages and chambers. We put them on the map and then, a stroke of genius on Remus's part, we added a charm that makes the map show the location and name of every person in the castle. So, I was perusing the map last night, I saw the most unusual thing. In the library I could see the names of Jon and Kristi _right on top of one another._ Then Dumbledore walked into the library and you soon followed."

Lily was astounded. "That still doesn't explain how the whole school knows." Her eyes flickered across James's face.

Sirius nodded, "Yes. After you disappeared up the stairs and into your room, I saw Dumbledore remain with our naughty Mr. Jon and Miss Kristi. I put two and two together and more or less guessed that they had been caught in the act, so to speak." He winked at Lily. "Anyway, I was telling Peter about it in the common room this morning and I suppose that some of the other students heard me."

Lily ran her hand through her hair, snaring it on a few tangled curls. "Fine, I forgive you this time." She smiled and hugged Sirius.

James tagged dejectedly behind the couple as the group walked back to the Great Hall for breakfast. They were holding hands and smiling at each other.

They reached the doorway to the dining room when they heard a sudden calm and then the headmaster's voice rang throughout the school.

"Students, teachers, I have an important announcement to make." Dumbledore began. "It is my unfortunate duty to tell you that Mr. Jon Esperto has had to step down from his position as Head Boy. In his place I would like to congratulate James Potter."

James stumbled as he heard those words. _What the fuck? _He stared at the staff table where all of the teachers were beaming at him and clapping. _What the fuck!? _He smiled weakly and shot a glance at Lily. She was looking at the staff table in shock as well.

_Well, _James thought. _At least I'll get to spend more time with Lily!_

After breakfast, Dumbledore approached James and instructed him on his new duties and responsibilities and reminded him that he would have to move to the Heads' tower. The headmaster also added, with a slight twinkle in his eyes, that while James could now give and/or deduct house points and put people in detention, he should not use that power to his advantage.

The day actually went fairly quickly, even with James's excitement at being able to spend the rest of the school year alone with the beautiful Lily Evans. Well, not including classes, meals, etc.

Finally, dinner was served and he said goodnight to Sirius, Remus, and Peter. Remus gave him a small wink as he left.

He took the stairs three at a time in his rush to his new tower and room. Well, that's how he justified it. Really he was only in a hurry to see Lily.

Before long, James arrived and stepped into the lush common room. He could see beautiful red curls poking above the back of the sofa and smiled to himself.

Walking quietly, he made his way to a cream colored sitting chair opposite of Lily.

"Hey Evans," James murmured.

Lily jumped visibly, dropping her book on the ground. "Oh, hi… You scared me; I didn't hear you come in."

"Yeah," He answered. "Sorry about that. I couldn't stop thinking about you all day…"

She smiled mischievously. "Really? What were you thinking about?"

James gave her an innocent look. "Well, actually I was thinking about kissing you."

Lily nodded, "Hmmm, that's very interesting." Then she picked up her book and feigned reading.

"Okay, that's it," James yelled, grabbing the novel and throwing it across the room. He leaned down and kissed her somewhat roughly and pushed her down so that she was lying beneath him on the couch.

He lifted his head quickly for breath and then caught her lips again. Probing the lower one with his tongue, asking permission to enter- which she granted.

James let his hands drift into Lily's hair, tangling his fingers into the mass of fiery curls.

Lily pulled back and, smiling shyly, began to unbutton her school blouse. She pulled it off her arms, revealing a pretty lace bra when there was a knock at the door.

Her eyes opened wider in surprise. "Shit…"

James leaped off the couch and away from her, sitting quickly and nervously on a chair next to the fireplace.

Lily grabbed her shirt and started buttoning it quickly. "Shit," she whispered again. "I'll be right there!"

Finally, she managed to get the blouse buttoned and she ran her hand through her extremely messy hair. Lily walked to the door and pulled it open.

"Surprise!" Yelled Sirius, holding a large bouquet of flowers and an even larger smile. "I thought I'd take you out tonight, since its Friday and all. It'll be our first real date." He walked past her into the common room. "Here, I'll put these in a glass of water if you want to get changed or anything."

Lily gave a small nod and ran into her room to change out of her school uniform. _Shit, shit, shit, shit…_

She walked back out and completely avoided James's hazel eyes while grabbing Sirius's hand and exiting the Heads' tower.

They used the Marauders' Map and a secret tunnel to get into Hogsmeade. Sirius took Lily around the town, bought her coffee and dessert, and on the whole acted like a perfect gentleman.

It was nearly midnight when they got back to her tower and the flamed sconces cast an eerie glow against the portrait door.

Lily looked at the ground. "I had a wonderful time tonight, Sirius."

"Oh, it was nothing," he said, blushing slightly. "I…I think I love you, Lilybird." His voice lowered to whisper.

Lily looked up, her eyes brimming with tears. _What am I doing with James?_

"You're too good for me," she sobbed, the tears falling down her cheeks as she turned and entered the common room, leaving a confused and crestfallen Sirius in her wake.

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**_Whoo_****_, finally! Sorry it took me so long. I'm actually busier during the summer than I am during school, lol. Plus the chapter is a lot longer than usual. OK, anyway, on to the thank you-s. Remember at least 10 reviews for a new chapter._**

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**_P.S. Does anyone know what happens when you "Highly recommend this author"?? Just wondering._**


	8. CHAPTER 8

Devoted

Chapter 8

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Lily was sprawled across her bed, sobbing in huge, choking gasps. All her life she had worked so hard to be perfect, to be the girl who never did anything wrong, who always knew what the right thing to do was. It had been important to appear faultless. She had waited her whole life to be Head Girl, so she could play the part even more fully.

And now… now everything was coming to a horrifying complete stop. All Lily had heard from her friends the entire year was, "Why don't you live a little?? Have a little fun! Just relax, Lily!"

Boy had she started to relax. She was cheating on her wonderful boyfriend who claimed to love her. _Loved her_…

Kissing James hadn't felt like cheating at first. It had been fun, and that's what her friends had been trying to get her to do all year. But now everything was coming into retrospect and her perfect features and perfect mind and perfect conscience felt…tainted. This was one hell of a stain on her clean record.

_I'm imperfect. I messed up_.

Lily could hardly breathe for crying. She looked into her armoire mirror only to see stains of mascara lining her cheeks and her hair plastered to her face. She gently pulled her hair away and wiped the makeup off.

"When things aren't going right, you must be doing something wrong." Lily whispered to her reflection. It was a saying her mother always quoted and, in the annoying way parents are able to manage, she was right. "I'll just start over again tomorrow."

_No more drinking, no more skipping classes, no more James, no more fun. But at least I'll be perfect. _

Resolutely, Lily turned on her heel and entered her en suite bathroom. It was literally a dream bathroom. The tub was nearly half the size of a swimming pool with a plethora of spouts and jets. There was a shallow end that was cushioned and perfect for relaxing while the rest was at least five feet deep. The floor was a soft, stony white tile and the counters were a gleaming silver marble.

Lily ignored the beauty as she marched in purposefully. She knelt next to the tub and turned one of the silver knobs, filling the bath quickly. Sinking into the warm, scented water, she began scrubbing herself so hard that her skin turned a glowing shade of pink.

"I…just…need…to….get rid…of…this…disgusting…me…!" Lily mumbled to herself, splashing water on the floor.

After nearly an hour of this vicious scouring, Lily heaved her body from the tub and drained it.

Wrapping herself in a fluffy white towel, she glanced at the clock. 3:00 A.M.

She sighed and looked at her reflection. Her face was perfectly clean. Lily smiled and cast a drying spell on her hair. Then she pulled on her pajamas, left the bathroom and collapsed onto her bed.

The stars winked as she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

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James was waiting casually on the sofa for Lily to come out of her room the next morning. It was a Saturday and he was hoping that maybe they could spend the whole day together; talking, snogging, doing homework, snogging…

He stirred as her door opened, reminding himself not to look anxious. Instead, he hitched what he obviously thought was a devilishly handsome smirk onto his face.

He watched Lily as she traipsed from her room, smoothing down her shirt and running a hand through her hair. Was it a trick of the light that made her eyes appear puffy?

She passed the couch, careful not to spare James a passing glance. This made him frown and grab her arm.

"Hey beautiful," he started, causing Lily to blush lightly. "What's wrong? You didn't even say good morning…"

She could feel his hazel eyes roaming her face, trying to catch her eye. She decided to concentrate of the flawless carpet.

_Flawless, just like I am. Like a life without James Potter. _

Lily wrenched her arm from his grasp. "Nothing's wrong. Good morning."

His frown deepened for a second but was quickly replaced with an evil grin. "That is simply wonderful." He leaned in to kiss her.

However, Lily had entered the common room anticipating such a thing to happen and was prepared. She hastily backed away, tears unwillingly filling her eyes.                                                                                                                                                                

"James… James, I can't do this anymore." Her throat was burning with unshed tears.

James stared at her, his usually warm eyes now scared and confused. "You… I don't… What do you mean?" He stuttered.

Lily shook her head. "I really like Sirius. I don't want to mess up what I've got with him and what he means to me. What happened between us…it was fun. But I can't mess around like that anymore." A single tear managed to escape from her emerald eyes, staining her shirt as it fell.

"But Lily! What about what you mean to me?!" James practically screamed. He felt like something was crashing into him. He thought he had managed to get her to like him.

_No_, whispered a voice in his mind. _Did she ever break up with Sirius? You were just a game_.

James watched as another tear made another trail down her cheek. "Never mind, it doesn't matter anymore," he sighed, wiping the tear from her face. "You'd better go to breakfast." His voice was monotonous, almost dead sounding.

Lily seized his hand which was still on her cheek and, turning it over, kissed the palm. "I'm so sorry," she whispered before leaving the tower.

James watched he door shut with a soft click. He grabbed a bottle of ink that was sitting on the desk and threw across the room. It hit the wall and shattered, spraying black everywhere.

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Lily tried to master her tears as she entered the Great Hall. She took a great quavering breath and gazed across the Gryffindor table, her eyes promptly landing on the wavy black hair of Sirius.

She grabbed a spoon from the nearest table and looked at her reflection. Her eyes were red and swollen and her ivory skin blotchy. "_Cleocosma_," she muttered, pulling out her wand. Instantly, salon perfect makeup appeared on her face.

With another deep breath, Lily made her way to an empty spot beside Sirius. "Can I sit here?" She asked, timidly.

He looked up at her with a pleasant smile. "Of course you can Lilybird." He patted the seat next to him.

"So…you're not mad at me?"

Sirius frowned for a second. "Nah, I thought about it and it's too soon for me to say something like that," he answered. "We've only actually gone out once and there's no reason to rush things."

Lily took her third deep breath. "Thank you, Sirius."

"No problem, beautiful!" He smiled.

The words triggered something in Lily's head… James. She felt very bad about killing his expectations. But, it was a necessary part of her regaining her reputation. She remembered the puppy-dog face he had pulled on her a week ago. He truly was an amazing person, quite different from the little boy who had asked her out years before.

Sirius interrupted her thoughts. "Do you want to do something today?"

"Actually," Lily began, digging into the scrambled eggs, "would you mind doing some homework with me? I'm quite behind."

"Sure Lilybird," Sirius answered, very aware that this could be a long and horrible weekend if Lily was planning on doing homework the whole time. "And I'll plan something for us to do on a break, okay?"

Lily smiled. This was more like it.

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Five hours later, Sirius and Lily were in the Library doing homework. Sirius grimaced as Lily put an unneeded flourish on the last line of her Charms homework and reached into her bag. More work perhaps? He sighed with relief as she pulled out a planner and crossed the Charms assignment- the last assignment- off the list.

"Ok," Lily grinned. "Have you got anything planned for us now?"

Sirius stood up, offering his hand out to the red head girl. "But of course, my darling Lilybird. If you'll follow me…"

Lily grabbed his hand and followed him out to the Quidditch pitch where a lovely blanket and basket sat. "Oh, Sirius! This is amazing!"

A soft breeze played with her auburn hair as the couple opened the basket and found all their favorite foods. Before long the basket was empty.

Lily sighed and leaned back onto her elbows. "This was…perfect. I'm sorry I ran off on you last night, Sirius."

"Don't apologize, Lilybird. I completely understand." Sirius replied, lying on his stomach. "Maybe it's too soon to say I love you, but…well…I do really like you." He scooted over right next to her. "You are the most remarkable person I've ever met." He kissed her gently.

Lily expected to feel weak, as she had when James kissed her. Instead there was only a sort of numb buzzing in her head. She pulled away, looking at Sirius curiously. His eyes were filled with pure desire. She furrowed her eyebrows and pulled Sirius toward her, more roughly, perhaps, than she'd intended to.

Sirius gained access to her mouth with his tongue, getting much more satisfaction out of it than Lily. She felt his hand creep up her body and had the uncomfortable feeling that it would land on her breast. She gave a shudder of relief when it plowed into her hair.

He wrapped his fingers in the red curls. Removing his lips from Lily's, Sirius began kissing her collarbone.

She started giggling. It was a little known fact that Lily Evans was extremely ticklish. In the midst of her laughing fit, she glanced up at Hogwarts' west face. The Head tower loomed over most of the castle roofs. In the highest window a shadow was staring across the Quidditch pitch.

"James…" Lily murmured suddenly, staring at his figure.

Sirius whipped his head up, a confused look on his face. "What did you just say?"

Lily blushed deeply, "I noticed James looking at us from the window up there." The silhouette quickly stalked away from view. "He's gone now, but he was just watching… it was kind of weird."

The sun was starting to go down behind the snowy mountain tops, casting a beautiful golden shine across the lake.

Sirius stood up with a bemused smile. "It's getting late. I'll walk you back to your room." He held out his hand and pulled Lily up as well.

"Thank you for being so nice, Sirius," Lily whispered. Her mind was with James at the window. "This was really great, the food and all…"   How badly had she hurt him?

"No problem at all, beautiful. No problem at all."

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Hey everyone! Ok, I know that everyone who was banking on some Lily and James action is severely disappointed, but if I had them together this soon, I wouldn't have a story! Right now, Lily is just confused, don't rush her!! She'll make the right decision!

Thank you to all my beautiful reviewers. I love each and every one of you. This time I'm going to ask for 15 reviews for a new chapter. It's only because on the 7th, I got 10 reviews on the first day, and I'm just not that fast. So, 15 should be good. Of course if it takes you a month to give me 10, I'll stick with that number.

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Thank you once again!


	9. chapter 9

Devoted

Chapter 9

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The aftershocks of Lily and James's falling out reverberated throughout the Head Tower and slowly seeped into the school.

Obviously, nobody but the guilty parties knew what had caused the sudden uneasiness in Lily or why James was moving through school in a robotic manner.

Remus had tried to corner James in the library one day and get some information. "What's wrong with you? What exactly happened between you and Lily?" He had shouted to James's retreating back as the boy dodged him.

Sirius could feel Lily's entire body tense up on the rare occasion that they were all in the same room. She still laughed and talked normally but it just felt as though she was on guard for something.

Days, weeks, and months past in this manner as the year slowly entered December. The two week holiday vacation was just as lethargically approaching. Most of the seventh year students were unbearably weighed down with homework that was supposedly helping them study for their N.E.W.T's.

"I can't believe how much work we've got," growled Colleen a week before break. "It will be absolutely wonderful to go home and relax. Are you going home, Lillian?"

Lily bent over her work. "You know how my family is… I'm probably just going to stay here," she muttered.

Colleen stared for a moment. "No, Lillian, actually I don't know much about your family. All you've ever told me is that you don't get along, and that you had a huge disagreement with your sister."

"That…that's what I mean." Lily looked determinedly at her paper. "I'm going to go up to my room, see you later."

She stood up quickly and, shoving her work into her bag, left the library. The hallway was empty of 5th and 7th form students because of the fact that they were busy starting the tremendous load of pre-exam work.

Lily walked briskly through the hallway, stopping only once, to take points away from a group of 6th years who were selling fake answer sheets to the tests.

As she was passing Gryffindor's fat lady, the portrait swung open, revealing a grinning Sirius.

"Hey Lilybird, looking good! I saw you on the map," he winked. "Listen, I've spoken to James's mum and if you haven't got any plans I'd like it if you'd spend the hols with me…"

Lily frowned, "Why did you talk to James's mum about Christmas?"

"Oh," Sirius shrugged as they started walking. "Things at home weren't going so great, so I ran away. I've been living with James for awhile now."

Lily sighed as they reached the tower entrance. "Wow," she whispered after saying the password. "I didn't know about that." She opened the door and motioned for Sirius to come in as well.

Sirius shrugged again, "I guess I always thought you knew. But anyway, would you like to spend Christmas with us or are you doing something else?"

Lily smiled, "I'd love to, but will James be okay with it?"

"Be okay with what?"

The couple turned around. James was standing at his bedroom door wearing a towel. His disheveled hair was dripping and he was wiping his glasses off. He put them back on and said again, "be okay with what?"

Sirius shifted uncomfortably as he felt Lily tense up, "Um, I've spoken to your mum about, er, Lily coming to stay with us for Christmas…"

James looked shocked for a second before putting on his cool façade again. "That's fine, whatever. If she wants to come, she can."

"So, how about it, Lilybird?" Sirius asked, giving her a broad grin.

Lily opened and closed her mouth a few times, giving her world famous goldfish impression. "Well…I suppose it sounds…good to me." She ended with a lame smile.

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Lily lugged a small trunk into the Great Hall, checking her cloak to make sure it was still fastened. As she approached the door, Colleen caught up with her.

"Hey Lillian, I thought you weren't going home." She shouted over the din of students yelling goodbye to one another.

Lily stopped, letting Colleen catch her breath. "I'm not going to my house. I'm actually spending the holidays with Sirius… he lives with James, you know."

"Oh," Colleen replied. "That sounds like fun. I'm going to my granddad's place with my family. But, anyway, I just wanted to give you your present." She pulled out a package wrapped with silver paper.

Lily smiled, "Thank you! Here, let me get yours out. I was just going to send it by owl later, but…there you go." She handed a small gift covered with green and white paper.

"Thanks, Lillian… listen, sit with me on the train, ok? Like old times."

The students began moving out the doors. "That sounds great," Lily answered.

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"…And so then she goes, '_Oh, well…I just thought that would be fun, to have a name game in each class …_' and I'm completely sitting there thinking, 'Are you kidding me?!'" Lily concluded, laughing.

Colleen wiped a tear of mirth from under her eye. "Oh my gosh, Lillian! I've missed you so much."

"What do you mean? We see each other all the time, you know, in classes and stuff."

"But we never get to talk very much. You're always out with Sirius or doing Head Girl business or going to Charms Club. You're just a busy girl." Colleen laid her head against the cool, frosted window, watching the farmland fly by. "And I understand it, I just miss you…"

Lily stared with wide eyes. "Oh…I-"

She was interrupted by the compartment door slamming open.

Sirius stood grinning in the doorway. "Yoo-hoo! Cheerio beautiful ladies, I have arrived!" He barked, bowing slightly. Behind him, James, Remus, and Peter were waiting.

As they piled in, Colleen slouched into the corner, crossing her arms and sighing.

James and Peter sat down beside her while Sirius slid next to Lily, wrapping an arm around her petite waist, and Remus took the spot next to them.

Everyone talked and laughed, pretending to be friendly in some cases, but all around appearing to have a good time. Before long, the soft swaying of the train began to slow and Platform 9 3/4 came into view.

Sirius leaned across Lily and pointed out the window. "See that couple over there?" He wiped some more of the fog from the window and pointed again at a grey haired lady wrapped in a pink rain coat who was arm in arm with a man who had neat black hair and wire rim glasses. "They're James's parents."

"But…his hair is so immaculate. It's not sticking up all over the place." Lily answered, glancing at James who absent mindedly ran a hand through his messy hair.

"I know, isn't it hilarious?" Sirius laughed.

The squealing of the brakes announced their arrival and everyone began grabbing their belongings from the carriers.

James, Lily, and Sirius said their goodbyes and headed over to the man and woman that Sirius had pointed out.

"Hey mum, how are you dad?" James said softly, hugging each of his parents. "This is Lily Evans… She's going out with…Sirius, and she's also Head Girl."

James's mum smiled, "Oh, are you dear? That's wonderful!"

"Thank you, Mrs. Potter. And thank you for having me over for Christmas," Lily replied.

"None of this Mrs. Potter business, it makes me feel old. Please call me Diane. Let me also introduce my husband, Henry-"

The man adjusted his glasses. "You may call me Mr. Potter," he muttered gruffly. "Shall we proceed home?"

Diane sighed and nodded. She motioned for the three teenagers to follow her and walked after her husband. They found an open Flooing fireplace and left for the Potter Manor.

Lily stepped grudgingly into the fire pit after Sirius had left. She _hated_ traveling this way. She shouted the address and felt the sickening sensation of being spun too much. Finally, to her immense relief, the twirling slowed and she felt her self thrust into a large, open hall. With a sharp pain to her knee, she "gracefully" fell onto the marble floor.

"Very poised, Lilybird!" Sirius laughed, holding out a hand.

"Ha, ha, yes…very funny," Lily replied grumpily, all the while accepting his hand.

A side door opened and James walked in. "Alright, I'll show you to your room Lily. Sirius, you're staying where you always stay, of course."

Sirius nodded and kissed Lily on the cheek before leaving.

"Come on," James drawled. "I'll show you some of the house on our way to the guest room."

It was quite a long walk from the main hallway to Lily's bedroom. James pointed out the kitchen, his own room, a couple of bathrooms, the dining room; they strode up a set of stairs somewhere, passing the rec room and the family room before they arrived at the guest room.

"Here you go. Um, let's see. There's an en suite bathroom. It's small but it has everything you need and your trunk was magicked up already…see, it's sitting there. You can use that armoire for your clothes. That's about it. When you are done in here, come to the dining room as dinner should be ready soon," James explained. "Do you think you can find your way there?"

"Yes," Lily smiled. "Thanks for showing me around, James." She made a sudden movement with her arm as though to reach out and touch him, but thought better of it. "I'll see you in a couple of minutes," she murmured turning towards the armoire.

_Say something to her!_ A voice in James's head whined. _Tell her how you feel… Just walk over, grab her arm, and kiss her. Make her want you._ Instead, he turned on his heel and left the room, shutting the large oak door behind him.

Quietly, James leaned back against the door. Trying to maintain control of his…his…his _uncontrollable_ desire for Lily Evans. He just wanted her so bad. He was almost certain that they were meant to be and that some cruel twist had taken away his destiny.

James scrunched up his eyes and balled his fist, feeling once again how much he liked Lily. He watched the yellow and red amebas that swam across his eyelids, trying to relax.

Suddenly, the door on which was leaning was pulled open and James fell backwards. His arms revolved wildly, trying to regain balance. Lily screamed.

"What_ are _you doing_?_" She yelled, clutching her chest. James opened and closed his mouth, giving an uncanny impression of Lily's goldfish face. Lily giggled and knelt next to him. "Never mind, are you ok?"

"Uh, yeah, I think so," he nodded. "Listen, I wasn't… you shouldn't… it's just… don't think… your hair looks nice."

Lily laughed again. "Well, thanks…it's just up in a ponytail."

James shrugged, "It's nice though. It makes your eyes stand out even more." He pushed a stray curl behind her ear. "Hey, let's not be mad anymore."

Lily stood up quickly and it looked for a second as if she would rather remain angry. But then a smile lit her face and she reached out her hand. "That sounds good."

James grabbed her hand with a small grin and allowed her to pull him up.

"Actually," she said, biting her lip. "I don't remember where the dining room is…"

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Lily sat on Sirius's lap in the family room, watching the snow fall down softly against the night sky. It amazed her how quiet the world became when it snowed, like everyone was holding their breath and worshiping the beautiful white flakes.

It was Christmas Eve and to Sirius's great relief, James and Lily were on speaking terms. Albeit, those terms were stilted and polite at times, at least they _were_ talking.

Lily turned her eyes to the glittering Christmas tree; it made her smile. It had been very sloppily done by James and Sirius earlier that morning, in Muggle fashion. Strands of red and gold encircled the tree, but unfortunately Sirius had run out halfway through and so the bottom half of the tree was bare. There were round silver bobbles hanging throughout the branches… but most of them were broken from falling _repeatedly _on the floor. And finally, there was a long string of white Christmas lights that sparkled even though a fuse had blown and many of the lights were no longer shining. Of course, Sirius and James weren't very good with the Muggle electronics above plugging it into the only outlet in the house.

"You guys are stupid," Lily giggled fondly, staring at the tree.

Sirius looked extremely offended. "No, we're quite sophisticated. The tree is… beautiful."

"I agree," muttered James vaguely as he eagerly pinched the gifts under the tree. "And it took us all day to decorate."

Sirius looked at his watch. "Merlin, it's already midnight. I'm off to bed, how about you guys?"

"I'm going to stay and watch it snow for a little while," Lily yawned, turning her gaze back to the dazzling white landscape.

James finished shaking a package and stood up. "I'm just going to put the presents I got for everyone under the tree and then I'm going to go to sleep too…"

Sirius kissed Lily and bid goodnight and Merry Christmas to James before heading to his bedroom.

Lily watched the swirling flakes gather on the walk marveling at how they turned blue in the moonlight, like only purely white or black things can do. It reminded her of a girl in her Transfiguration class who had black hair and how she developed a blue halo in the light.

"Hey, Happy Christmas Lily," spoke James.

Lily started; he was under the tree again, this time laden with an abundance of packages. She hadn't even noticed him leave.

"Yeah, you too."

He continued to arrange the presents around the trunk. "You were really quiet tonight," he remarked, as he stood up and looked out the icy window as well.

Lily shrugged, "Christmas is kind of a hard time for me…" She looked up at James's face before letting her eyes rest on the tree again. "My mum died of cancer four years ago on Christmas day."

"I'm really sorry, I had no idea," James murmured, sitting on the couch next to Lily.

She waved her hand, "Don't be sorry, it's not your fault and for three hundred and sixty-four days out of the year… give or take… I'm absolutely okay with it."

He noticed that there were small tears shining in the corner of each beautiful eye. "Why aren't you with your family?"

Lily roughly wiped the tears away. "I don't really want to talk about them right now." She turned towards James and whispered, "I'm going to kiss you in a second."

James barely even heard her and had little time to react as Lily leaned toward him and gently placed her lips on his.

He pulled away, "Lily…you're upset, don't do this. You don't know what you're doing."

She frowned, "I'm not that upset. I know I want to be a perfect girlfriend, but I also know I want to kiss you, and I know I _like_ to kiss you."

"But what about Sirius? What about all that stuff you said to me about how you didn't want to mess things up?" James questioned, a thoroughly perplexed look upon his face.

Lily leaned in again and softly kissed his lower lip. "I still feel that way, but…it doesn't feel the same kissing him as it does kissing you."

James put his lips on Lily's forehead. "You're enigmatic, Lily."

"'Enigmatic'?" She asked, raising both eyebrows. She was aiming for the sassy one eyebrow up look, but couldn't raise one without the other.

James stood up, closing his eyes. "My Word-a-Day calendar. I'll see you tomorrow… Don't stay up too late; Sirius likes to be up at five-thirty, opening presents."

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**_Sorry this took so long, writer's block is a bitch. So there is a lot of mystery and intrigue in this chapter, no? And what is up with Lily? First she doesn't want James, then she does, then she doesn't, and now she does??_**

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**_Whatever…She's such a silly girl. Ok! On to Thank You's!_**

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**Thank you:**

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**r.3.d.3.m.p.t.i.0.n: This chapter is dedicated to you because you are my 100th reviewer and helped me reach that goal a chapter early! Thank you! I hope you enjoyed your chapter!!**

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**_And thank you to everyone for helping me reach 100 reviews on my 8th chapter! That was amazing!_**

**_Alright…15 more reviews for another chapter! Ta!_**


	10. CHAPTER 10

Devoted

Chapter 10

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Lily was asleep in her room. It was nice and quiet and she was comfortably warm in the goose feather comforters. She was having a lovely dream…it didn't make a lot of sense, but it was lovely.

Little did our sleeping beauty know that 5:30 AM was drawing near and that James was not exaggerating on what time Sirius would be up.

The clock hanging on the wall ticked off the seconds lazily. 5:29 and 45 seconds. Lily turned onto her right side and sighed. 50 seconds. Lily smiled in her sleep; it was a wonderful dream. The Grandfather Clock in the front hall chimed once to announce 5:30 and also signaled an enormous bang. Lily sat straight up, fully awake.

"EVERYONE…IT IS TIME TO OPEN PRESENTS!" Sirius screamed very loudly from downstairs. "WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP!"

Lily glanced at her clock and groaned. She had definitely not taken James seriously. Cursing, she slid out of bed and traipsed into the bathroom. Well, a more accurate description would be that she _stumbled_ into the loo because she was so tired that her eyes would not open properly.

Finally, Lily managed to see well enough to pull on a white sweater and jeans, brush her hair, and go down to the family room where Diane and James were sitting patiently on the couch and Sirius was standing next to the tree looking especially angry.

"Lily, do you realize that it is," Sirius paused, looking at his watch. "5:36 right now?"

She glanced around the room. Diane smiled sympathetically and took a sip of her coffee. James blushed and shrugged. "Um…I didn't know there was a time limit," she answered warily.

Sirius sighed dramatically. "It's ok, you're new to this." He started passing out everyone's presents. Lily was pleased to see that she actually had quite a few.

She was a very neat gift-opener; instead of tearing the ribbon and paper like Sirius and James were currently doing, she carefully pulled each flap of wrapping from the one it was taped to and then folding everything in a neat pile before examining the gift. "Where's…Mr. Potter?" Lily asked as she folded up the paper from Colleen's gift. It was an Advanced Charms book that she had been pining for since summer.

Diane sighed, holding up a chenille sweater that she'd just unwrapped. "He's at the ministry; not many people will come in on Christmas day and obviously, someone needs to be there. Henry takes his job very seriously."

James frowned, throwing a pair of socks behind him. "Yes, well, it wouldn't kill him to be home for Christmas at least once."

"James…" Diane warned, pushing a strand of her grey hair behind her ear. "You're father's a very serious person."

"It wouldn't kill him to home at all," he continued, ignoring his mother.

Diane's eyes were flashing and her words were dripping with ice. "James Harold Potter. We'll talk about this later."

Lily glanced at Sirius, who was carefully avoiding looking at James or Diane. She decided to follow this example and started opening the last of her presents.

She picked up James's first. It was rather small and rattled when she pulled the paper off. Underneath the first layer there was a small box labeled Jenning's Inc. Curiously, Lily pulled the lid off and practically dropped the box from shock. Inside was a silver ID bracelet. Her name was written in moving, curly script and the dot of the 'i' was a shimmering diamond. "James…" She whispered in a strangled voice.

He smiled as he looked over at her. "Do you like it? Does it fit?"

"Of course I like it…but I don't deserve it! This is really beautiful and I didn't even get you anything and…"

James shook his head, "And I don't care. Listen, you don't need to feel bad. Some poor bloke had it made for his fiancée but they broke up before he could give it to her. So, I saw it and figured you'd like it. Besides, I got it at half price because it was just an extra." This was a lie, of course. James had gone to Jenning's Inc. and paid quite a bit for the bracelet which he ordered himself...but Lily needn't know that.

She hesitated for a second before hanging it over her wrist and clasping the ends. "Thank you, "she murmured, kissing his cheek and smiling slyly.

_Who do I want more?_

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On New Years Eve, James suggested that Lily invite her friends over to his house for a small party; he had invited Remus and Peter. The latter, unfortunately, couldn't make it. Then they snuck into a deserted area of the house and started snogging.

Eventually, she did take him up on the offer and sent owls to Colleen and Tina. And she would definitely welcome the female company after being stuck in a house with two boys, because no matter how much you like them, boys are boys. She almost regretted getting Sirius a large bag of Zonko's pranks because he and James had been setting them off around the house endlessly.

Finally, Colleen and Tina arrived at the house by floo powder, each stumbling out of the fire place and cursing the spinning sensation.

"I'm so glad you're here!" Lily smiled, giving them both hugs. "It's been murder."

Tina laughed, "Yes, I imagine spending Christmas with two hot guys would be absolutely horrid. Oh! Lovely bracelet! Did you get that from Sirius?" She said quickly, hardly stopping for breath.

Lily fingered the silver wristlet nervously. "No," she started cautiously. "I got it from James."

Colleen's mouth fell open. "What'd he do that for?" She asked, grabbing Lily's wrist and examining the jewelry. "This must have cost him a fortune."

Lily shrugged, "He just said that it was an extra that someone had ordered and never picked up. So he got a discount."

Tina smiled and shook her head. "Wow that was very lucky. What did you get from Sirius, by the way?"

"He gave me a picture of the two of us… You know that one from the Halloween feast. It's in a beautiful frame and everything."

Colleen nodded thoughtfully, "That's kind of…upside-down, don't you think? Just sort of…I don't know, strange?"

Lily shrugged again. "Let me introduce you to James's mum and show you around the house."

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The stars were beginning to shine along the horizon. Mr. and Mrs. Potter were at a party, leaving the five teenagers plenty of opportunity to steal a couple bottles of champagne from the liquor cabinet.

They were sitting on the second floor balcony watching fireworks stream across the sky.

Sirius leaned back in his chair and checked his watch. "About 15 minutes until midnight!"

Lily grinned excitedly and grabbed the champagne bottle. "That's great! Oh, we're out of champagne," she muttered tipping the last drops into her glass. "I'll go get some more before twelve."

She stood up and opened the French doors leading into one the Potter's many rooms.

James jumped up as well. "I'll help you find it, Lily. I don't know if we have anymore upstairs."

They left the room, shutting the door behind them. Remus hid a smile behind his glass.

"I hope it doesn't take too long!" Tina exclaimed. "James's house is _huge_!"

Sirius laughed, "Luckily James knows his way around extremely well."

Five minutes passed in silence.

Tina gave a loud 'tut'. "They're going to miss it. I've got to go to the loo… I'll look for them along the way."

Remus made a funny noise. "No, no, no, you just go to the bathroom. I can go look for James and Lily," he practically yelped.

"Don't be silly," Tina giggled, pushing Remus back into his seat. "There's no need for all of us to leave." She left quickly before Remus could argue.

After a quick trip to the restroom, Tina made her way down the stairs and started to search the first floor.

"Where are you, Lily?" She whispered, opening a bedroom door. "And you, James…come out, come out wherever you are."

She opened the creaky kitchen door and received the shock of her life. Lily was sitting on the counter, completely engrossed with kissing James who was standing in front of her. His hand was up her shirt and her red curls were tangled.

"Oh my gosh…Lily!" Tina yelled.

James and Lily sprung apart, twin looks of horror on their faces.

"James," Lily groaned, slapping her head and turning red.

"Tina…" James bit his lip. "Um, this isn't…this isn't what it looks like."

She nodded, placing her fist on her hips. "Oh, of course, you're, uh, just getting some _champagne_, right?" Tina drawled sarcastically. "And I can't _believe_ you Lily! I would never imagine you…" Suddenly a look of comprehension crossed her face. "This isn't the first time is it? Lily, you told us about it…that one night with the fire whiskey, didn't you?"

Lily mentally slapped herself again. "Well, I don't really remember…Oh, um, look it's almost midnight; we'd better go back up. I've got the champagne right here."

"No, you do remember. You were worried that Sirius would be mad at you. It's all coming back to me now."

Lily grabbed the bottle. "Listen, Tina… What you saw doesn't mean anything," she glanced at James who nodded. "Please, just forget it and don't tell Sirius. We've got five minutes, let's go back upstairs."

The trio ran through the first story and up the stairs, finally arriving on the balcony. Remus gave James a questioning look.

The Grandfather clock emitted twelve notes and everyone exchanged kisses and gulped down their sparkling wine.

Sirius grabbed Lily and muttered, "Happy New Year, my beautiful Lilybird," before kissing her. She opened her eyes and saw Tina gazing at her, disappointment evident in her eyes.

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**_Alright! So now two other people know…Will Tina tell Sirius? Or will she remain loyal to Lily? This was a very hard chapter to write, by the way. That's why it's so short, sorry… I don't even know why…it was just difficult. I hope you all enjoyed it though!!_**

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_I'm completely watching the Olympics. That's all I did all day! LoL. It's great because I'm finally at an age where I can really appreciate the event and it's truly awe inspiring. Go __USA__!_

**Thank you all for the beautiful reviews!! I absolutely love them!!! Remember 15 reviews for a NEW chapter!!! Yay!**


	11. chapter 11

Devoted

Chapter 11

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On January third, the four marauders and Lily, Tina, and Colleen were standing in the rain outside the Hogwarts Express, saying goodbye to James's mum.

Lily sighed as she boarded the train, watching the rain wash away the dirty snow. She could feel Tina glaring at her…_still._ It was giving her a headache. Maybe that's what Tina was trying to do, like some sort of voodoo mind penetration thing.

Yeah, that's it.

James finished jamming his trunk into the overhead compartment. "Lily, we have to patrol the train, remember?"

Lily bit her lip and stole a glance at Tina. "Are you sure?" She whined.

"Er, yes," James said slowly. "McGonagall told us that we should if we were going home for Christmas. Otherwise she would have a Prefect do it… Remember, at the last meeting?"

Lily got up slowly. This was very uncomfortable. She kissed Sirius on the cheek and left the compartment.

"I cannot believe them!" Tina growled loudly, crossing her arms roughly.

Sirius looked at her, bewildered. "What do you mean? They're the Heads, you know. They are supposed to be patrolling the train."

She snorted, "Yeah right. I'll bet that-"

"Tina, can I talk to you…_outside_ the compartment?" Remus interrupted hurriedly.

Sirius, Peter, and Colleen exchanged confused glances.

Tina shrugged. "Fine, we'll be back in a moment."

They exited through the sliding glass door and Remus led her to an empty compartment.

"Are you trying to seduce me, Remus?"

He shook his head, "Listen, please don't say anything to Sirius about Lily and James. Obviously you saw something, but just…just stay out of it. They're adults, and they know what they are getting into and the consequences."

"_You knew about this?_" Tina practically shrieked. "You knew about this and...and…you're completely ok with it?"

Remus shifted nervously. "I encouraged James to do it in the beginning. But that's not the point. Just please, promise me that you won't say anything to _anyone_."

Tina looked into his honest eyes and considered what he said.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lily and James meandered through the nearly empty corridor, occasionally calming overexcited First Formers.

Suddenly Lily drew a shaky breath. "I'm worried about New Years. I'm worried about Tina."

When James didn't respond she kept rambling. "What if she says something to Sirius? I don't want to lose him! And what about you? He's your best friend. This is a disaster."

James stopped walking and threw his hands into the air. "Then tell me Lily, please, tell me. What is it that you want? Are you ever going to choose between us?"

"I want you both," Lily whispered.

James shook his head. "That isn't possible."

"I know," she sighed. "Just…just be with me for a while."

A couple of Ravenclaws walked into the corridor and Lily and James started patrolling again.

"I don't know Lily. I guess we'll just have to see what happens." James answered quietly as they opened the glass door to their friends' compartment.

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Tina stared at Remus intently, listening to his words echo in her head. _I encouraged James to do it… They know what they're getting into… Just stay out of it… Just please; promise me that you won't say anything to anyone…_

"No, I can't promise that," she muttered hoarsely. "Obviously I care more about them if you are just going to let this happen."

Remus rubbed his eyes wearily. "Come off it, Tina. Don't be a wet and get into their business! If they want to do it, it's their choice."

Tina turned on her heel, one hand on the door. "All my years in Hogwarts, I was astounded by the loyalty that you four had. The things you were willing to do for each other. But this time… Have you even thought about Sirius? About what this will do to him? It's a poor way to repay him for everything he's done for you, Remus." She threw open the door and left.

Remus followed her, crestfallen. He'd been so sure that Lily and James would work out. They were, as lame and clichéd as it sounded, meant to be together. He couldn't believe that everyone else had missed that.

He walked into the compartment and was somewhat surprised to see Lily curled up next to Sirius, talking quietly, James and Colleen telling Peter an edited version of the New Years celebration, and Tina, her lips pursed, staring out the window.

He slid next to her and spoke in a low voice that wouldn't be heard by anyone else. "So, you're not going to say anything, then?"

Tina turned towards Remus and muttered coldly, "I'm not going to embarrass them by saying it in front of everyone. I'll tell Sirius in private."

Remus leaned back in the seat and gave a fatigued sigh. Next week was the full moon, as if he didn't have enough to deal with. How could he protect his friend's _carefully_ tangled romances if he was in the Shrieking Shack?

The train rocked softly on the tracks as it made its way through the pelting rain. It was a relatively quiet and uneventful ride. About half way through, John Pearson, a Hufflepuff and friend of the Marauders came in and they all played a rousing game of Exploding Snap. Sirius ended up with his eyebrows singed and smoking.

Finally, Hogwarts loomed in the window, growing larger by the second, and everyone left to change into their robes.

The castle reminded Lily of the Muggle horror movies as lightning crashed around it in the dark night sky. She had seen some over the summer and they had scared her to death. Her sister Petunia, however, hadn't watched the movies. She got more enjoyment in watching Lily writhe and scream as zombies and monsters paraded across the screen. The memory of Petunia giggling, "_Don't you see those things at your freak school?" _made Lily blush furiously.

James and Lily pinned on their Heads badges and led the twenty-five students who had gone home for the holidays quickly up to the castle, heads bowed against the raging gale.

Soaking wet, they entered the Dining Hall for supper. Colleen had mascara running down her cheeks.

The feast was as enjoyable as ever, but the seven friends decided that it was time to go to bed when Peter literally fell asleep in his soup. Of course, first they spent a few minutes watching him and laughing because every time he snored, the broth would bubble.

Finally they got up and bid goodnight to their other friends and slowly walked toward the Gryffindor and Head Towers.

As they reached the portrait of the Pink Lady, Peter, Remus, and Colleen said the password and climbed through the hole. Sirius gave Lily a hug and made to follow them, but Tina grabbed his arm.

"Uh…Sirius? Can I talk to you?" She asked, throwing a disgruntled look at James and Lily.

Lily froze and stared wide-eyed at Tina.

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and squinted at Tina in the dim light. "Ok, sure. What's up?"

James made a funny noise and glanced at Lily. She was paler than normal and looked about as sick as he felt. His stomach was flip-flopping.

"It's about New Years," Tina began. _Flip Flop. _"When I wen-"

Lily jumped between her friend and Sirius. "Stop!" She yelled before bringing her voice to a whisper, peering over shoulder at Sirius. "Please, just…just let _me_ tell him, ok?"

Tina hesitated and shifted her weight. "You promise you'll tell him? Because Lily, I swear to Merlin, if you don't I will."

"I promise, just not tonight. Let me figure out how to do this." Lily pleaded.

Tina took a quick look at Sirius who staring at everyone in confusion. "Fine, but do it soon."

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_Sirius _

_Meet me on the Quidditch pitch after our first class._

_Love Lily_

Lily tied the note to the leg of a tawny school owl and let the bird fly through the window. She hadn't slept all night and finally decided to just get up and send the fatal letter to Sirius.

It had to be quite early, the sun was barely peeking over the distant mountains and many of the owls were swooping into the castle after a night of hunting.

Lily sighed and watched the light creep across the grounds, sparkling as it hit puddles from the storm. Looking at her watch, she decided that breakfast would probably be starting and left for the Great Hall.

Somehow, she wasn't surprised to James down there as well. His hair was messier than normal and there were dark circles under his eyes.

"Didn't get much sleep, eh?" She asked, sitting across from him.

James chuckled wearily, "No," he scooped some porridge into his bowl. "I'm guessing you didn't either?"

Lily shook her head and looked at the enchanted ceiling. "I'm meeting Sirius after Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"I see," James murmured, looking at his food.

"Is there anything you want me to say for you while I'm talking to him?" she asked, absent mindedly wringing her hands.

James lifted a spoonful of the oatmeal, letting it slide out of his spoon and splash the table. "Tell him I'm sorry."

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Defense Against the Dark Arts went by painfully slowly. Lily opted to sit next to Colleen across the room from Sirius and barely listened to the professor ramble on about shielding spells.

Finally, the bell rang and Lily packed her bag and walked hurriedly to the Quidditch field.

She sat in the center of the wet grass and pondered how she'd let her perfect life get so complicated. Childishly, she pulled tufts of the grass out of the earth.

After what seemed like forever, Sirius entered the field and strode over to Lily, his face a mixture of worry and puzzlement.

"Lilybird? Are you ok?" He asked quietly but she jumped all the same.

"Yes, I mean no, I mean…" She let out a deep breath. "I need to tell you something."

Sirius grabbed her hands and pulled her up. "Ok, you can tell me anything."

Lily let out a small sob as tears came unwillingly to her eyes.

"What's wrong, bird?" Sirius asked, startled.

"You deserve so much better than me," she choked through the tears. "You deserve someone who can love you and be there for you and be truthful." She rambled, letting out another sob. "You deserve someone who won't kiss your best friend."

Sirius stared at her for a second and then dropped her petite hands. "What did you…? What did you say?"

"I kissed James," Lily sobbed not bothering to wipe the tears away.

"You ki-" Sirius turned, raising his hand to his head and running it through his hair. "Just once?"

Lily looked at her feet. "No…"

"How long exactly has this been going on?"

"On and off since a little while after we started going out. I didn't mean to, Sirius!" She cried, grabbing his arm.

Sirius gave her a disgusted look and shook her hand away. "Don't touch me. I can't believe you did this."

Lily put her face into her hands. "Please…"

He started to walk away, discreetly wiping a tear from his cheek.

"James wanted me to tell you that he's sorry." She called out.

Sirius kept walking. "He can speak for himself," he called over his shoulder, walking out of the field.

Lily fell on her knees, crying harder than she could ever remember crying.

_"One more thing_

_Why is it my fault?_

_So maybe I try too hard._

_But it's all because of this desire._

_I just wanna be liked, I just wanna be funny._

_Looks like the jokes on me,_

_Just call me Captain Backfire."_

_-John Mayer, My Stupid Mouth_

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**_Wow…that made me upset. I feel so incredibly bad for Sirius! But it had to happen and we all knew it. Sadness. Well, this story might be ending sometime in the near future, which is also sad. I don't know exactly how long it will be, but I can definitely tell you that it won't be one of those stories with 50 chapters! Hahaha._**

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Remember, 15 more reviews!!!


	12. CHAPTER 12

Devoted

Chapter 12

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Lily had cried herself out. It was several hours before a cruel, cold breeze woke her. She looked up at the cloudy sky and saw a few outlandish snow flakes float to earth.

_What am I doing out here?_ She thought heavily, wrapping her arms around her body. Suddenly the memory of what had happened came flooding back.

Lily shivered, and hurried up to the castle. Her face felt stiff from crying and her right arm was asleep.

She shook her arm as she walked into the warm fortress, cursing the tingling. It must have been hours since she'd fallen asleep, as the Great Hall only held a few last minute diners. Lily wasn't very hungry, so instead she ambled up the stairs and into the Head Tower.

James was dozing on the couch, holding the Marauders Map on his lap. She snuck over to him and quietly sat on the sofa, laying her head on his shoulder.

He stirred, "Lily," James mumbled, opening his eyes blearily. "When did you come in?"

"Just now," Lily answered.

James focused his eyes. "You've been crying."

She laughed mirthlessly. "Sirius broke up with me."

"I know," he replied. "He said that he knew and hasn't spoken another word to me all day."

"I'm sorry," Lily sighed.

"Don't be sorry about this. I knew what I was getting in to. Come on, let's get you into bed. You're freezing."

Lily yawned and allowed James to pull her into her bedroom. She collapsed on the bed without even changing.

James kissed her forehead. "Do you want to sleep in tomorrow? I'll make excuses."

"No, I already missed most of my classes today. I don't want to get behind."

He leaned down and gave her another small kiss on the cheek. "Alright, I'll see you in class then." He made for the door when Lily's diminutive hand grabbed his wrist.

"Do you want to…stay the night with me?" She asked, blushing furiously.

James turned towards her, looking as though he was considering the idea. "Lily, I know you are upset right now. I'm not going to be your pity shag. 'Night, love." He quickly left the room, pulling the door closed behind him.

Lily let her hand drop and turned onto her stomach, burying her face in her voluptuous pillows. She felt stupid for even asking.

Of course, after napping outside for so long, sleep didn't come easy for her. She spent a most of the night listening to her own breathing and trying to ignore the sick knot in her stomach.

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The deep gong of the clock tower ripped through the air, startling Lily into consciousness.

Cold sunshine was cascading into the room. She stepped into it and shivered before reaching into the wardrobe, pulling on her uniform, and running her fingers through her frazzled mane of hair. She hardly felt like taking a shower and coating her brown eyelashes with makeup. She didn't feel like her old self. She wasn't perfect and couldn't pretend anymore.

There was no one in the Great Hall as Lily stepped in. Breakfast was just arriving on the long tables as she settled into her usual spot on the bench.

Helping herself to pancakes and sausage, she watched people slowly trickle in. After a quarter of an hour, Colleen walked through the door. Lily gave her a hopeful smile, but Colleen just stared through her with cold indifference, choosing a seat on the opposite corner. Shortly after, Tina, Remus, and – Lily's heart gave a strange twinge – Sirius walked in and sat around the blonde haired girl.

Remus glanced over at Lily and said something to the others. Sirius shrugged and answered loud enough for everyone to hear, "go ahead and sit with her. There's enough freeze to go around."

By this time, most of the students in the hall were staring in the direction of the Gryffindor table. Or, to be more specific, staring at space that was now between Sirius and Lily.

Many of the girls exchanged eager looks and smirked at Lily before bursting into giggles.

The redhead sighed and began mashing her breakfast into an inedible mixture.

"I guess you're not hungry," a hoarse voice said from across the table.

Lily looked up optimistically and saw James. She gave a soft smile, "We've been ostracized."

James looked down the table. "Ah, so we have."

A group of Ravenclaw girls composed of mostly Kristi Lohan and her simpering little friends gathered around Sirius, sighing as he spoke with a brave grimace. Kristi put her hand on his shoulder sympathetically as he finished.

It was like a car crash; Lily simply couldn't tear her eyes away from the scene as Sirius smiled in a vague, tired way. She watched the girls guffaw and whisper to each other. Watched them steal glances at her and James.

"Bloodly fucking hell," Lily cursed vehemently. "Half the school will know by lunch." She threw down her fork and dropped her head into her hands. God, she had the worst headache.

She felt a body sidle next to her and the breathy voice of Kristi whispered in her ear, "I was just guessing before, but you really _are_ a slut, huh?"

Lily brought her head up and stared at the girl's sly, fox smile. A mocking smile.

Before anyone could do anything else, there was a sharp crack and Kristi was leaning against the table, holding her face. She uncovered her visage and Lily's handprint stood out brilliantly on the pale skin.

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At nine-thirty that night, Lily stumbled back into the Head Tower, rubbing her right elbow and blinking her tired, bloodshot eyes. McGonagall, (_"That wicked old bat," _Lily thought irritably) had given her detention scrubbing tables in the Great Hall after her performance earlier in the same room.

To say the day had been a disaster was an understatement. True to her prediction, most, if not all, of the school was aware of the Sirius-Lily-James love triangle and all of the girls in the school were plotting how to get Sirius to fall in love with them.

In the lessons that Lily had with James, they sat together in the back of the classroom, ignoring the whispers that were circulating, but in those she had without him, Lily felt quite alone and it was harder to disregard the stares.

If this wasn't enough to make her lose concentration, the teachers were now stressing the N.E.W.T.'s more than ever as the exam loomed closer.

Lily heaved a gigantic sigh and sat down at the common room's desk. James either wasn't around or he had already gone to sleep, not that she felt much like conversing. She was dead tired and had at least two hours of homework to complete from yesterday.

Stupid love triangles.

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It had been nearly a week since Lily and Sirius's breakup. Hogwarts was becoming an unbearable, lonely place for her with no one to talk to but her fellow outcast, James. It was painfully clear that her peers now regarded her, not as a role model anymore, but some sort of…_whore_ that had no feelings of her own, and cared nothing for the feelings of others.

Of course all of her professors were pleased, because with her lack of social life, Lily's homework quality was at an all time high.

Which was great…just great.

Lily stalked through the hallway after her last class on Thursday. She noted dully that people had moved from talking about her to simply ignoring her existence.

She took a deep breath and stared in front of her. A classroom door opened on the left and Sirius, of all people, strode out. He was completely alone.

Glancing around at the people still gathered in the hall, Lily jogged up to him.

"Sirius, can we talk?" She asked timidly, catching up with his long strides.

He looked at the floor and raised his eyebrows. Lily took that as an invitation to continue.

"I never meant to hurt you. I was just…caught up in the moment. Please, can we just be friends? Acquaintances? I miss you. I'm sure James does too."

"Lily," Sirius's voice cracked as he stopped walking. He turned toward her but gazed at the wall. "How can I do that? I think I…I loved you and you destroyed everything."

She was struggling not to cry again. "And I'm sorry. I really am. I never meant for things to turn out that way. Can we at least start over?"

Sirius looked towards the Great Hall where nearly everyone was eating dinner. "I don't know, Lily. I really don't know."

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**_Sorry that I made you all wait well past the 15 review mark to get such a lame and short connecting chapter. ((Sigh)) It was really horrible, I know. Anyway, school starts in two days. Gah. So I may not be able to update quite as often. I can hear you all snorting because I don't update often as it is. I'll try though, so review review review. Even if it was a bad chapter, I'm going to ask for 15 reviews, ok?_**

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**_Thanks everyone! Keep reviewing!_**

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**_A/N As of 9.13.2004 School has started, and even though I don't have a lot of homework right now, I don't have very much time to write. I'll try to get another chapter out as soon as possible. Thank you, and sorry again for the delay._**


	13. chapter 13

Devoted

Chapter 13

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A/N: WARNING. This chapter contains a sexual situation which will be indicated with this symbol ((xxxxxxxx)). A BIG thank you to Mistress del Mare who wrote the scene. She was great!! If the writing style seems a _little_ different, that's why. Anyway, you should all go read her stories, they are some of the BEST. Thanks again to Mistress del Mare!

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Professor Binns was droning on and on about the…something. It was hard to understand him while zoning out.

Lily scribbled down a few words that had managed to drift into her ears and stared out the window. The snow was melting in slow, lazy drips. The giant squid crept a hesitant tentacle across the surface of the lake, disrupting the reflection.

She looked vaguely over at Sirius, sighing once again; her stomach was tied into a knot.

It had been two weeks since she had asked him to be, at least, her friend. He hadn't said anything to her at all since that day.

The good news? Remus had decided to talk to her and James, and Sirius was still talking to _him_. Which meant that Padfoot wasn't quite as upset anymore. Right?

_Right?_

Things were definitely not as bad as they had been or, for that matter, could be.

After what seemed like hours, the bell signaling the end of class rang, and Binns called out in his monotone voice, "Remember, N.E.W.T exams begin in three months. I suggest you start studying now."

Lily gathered her books and watched James leave the room. She was tremendously worried about him. And she blamed herself. Ever since…_the incident…_he'd been unusually quiet, preferring to stay away from people and out of the spotlight; something totally un-James-like. She would even go so far as to say he was depressed.

_But, _A voice said in her head. _You'd be a little depressed if you lost your best friend… Correction: you did lose your best friend._ She shook the thought out of her head and shoved the last book into her bag.

The halls were stiflingly crowded as the students made their way into the dorms for mid-day tea but Lily was able to walk through the corridors quickly. She mounted the stairwell and watched her feet, carefully searching for any disappearing stairs.

As she came onto a landing, Lily saw a pair of black boots standing in front of her path. Her eyes traveled up slowly, afraid that it was one of the students still determined to scorn her relationship with James. There had been a few people that, had she not been so skilled at Charms, would have landed her in the Hospital Wing.

Why everyone was involving themselves in the situation…well, that was beyond her.

Finally, her emerald eyes rested on the apprehensive dark eyes of Sirius.

"Here," he grunted, holding out a tiny blue and white flower.

Lily's hand closed around the stem. "What's this?"

"Nemophila," Sirius answered quietly. "You know…the language of flowers and all that."

"The language of what?" Lily giggled, covering her mouth with her free hand.

Sirius sighed, exasperated. "The language of _flowers_…Nemophila means, 'I forgive you.'"

"Oh," she replied, twirling the flower in her fingers and watching the colors blur together. "And James? Do you forgive him as well?"

He nodded slowly. "It took a lot of thought. But I think, for once, I needed to be an adult and let everyone get on with their lives."

"I'm glad," Lily said and held out her hand. "Friends, then?"

Sirius grasped her petite hand with his large, gruff one and gave it a firm shake. "Friends."

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After Sirius went down the stairs and around the corner, Lily practically sprinted to her dorm, clutching the tiny blossom to her chest.

She hurriedly muttered the password to the portrait and opened the door.

James was sitting at the desk with an astronomy map laid out in front of him. "Hey," he said quietly, turning around. "You look happy."

"Well," Lily smiled slightly, "I am, Sirius forgave us. He wants to be your friend again."

"He does?"

She shrugged one shoulder. "He does."

"Wow," James leaned back in the chair, pulling his hands behind his head. "I don't know, I guess I thought I'd be happier about this."

Lily's smile faltered. "You're not happy about it?"

He shook his head quickly, sending shaggy black hair back and forth. "I am, love, I'm just not…I'm just overwhelmed I think."

The Nemophila twirled through Lily's petite fingers. "And us…?" She stopped. She wanted to _be with_ James, but after the affair had been discovered, the topic had been almost taboo. She took a shaky breath. "Are we ever going to…I don't know, be a _couple_?"

James sighed and turned back to the desk. "Lily, Sirius just forgave us."

"I know…" She pulled off one of the leaves, letting it drop to the floor. She felt like a child being scolded.

"We can't just stab him in the back right away," he lectured, standing up and facing her. "I mean, that would be ver-"

His speech was cut off as Lily lunged forward, engulfing him in a kiss. It was simple yet passionate, long yet she seemed to pull away too soon.

((xxxxxxxxxxx))

"Wha-?" James asked, only to be cut off by the soft lips that he had come to crave like a smoker craves cigarettes.

Lily wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with an overwhelming sense of passion that she didn't even realize she had. But that didn't matter. All she wanted was James. Sirius was out of her head, hell; everything was evaporating from her mind. Everything but James. She wanted him. And she was trying her best to show him that fact.

James grabbed Lily by the waist and pulled her into his body. His body wasn't going to be satisfied with just one kiss. His hormones were raging with just the feel of her body against his, and his heart was beating wildly in his chest as he slowly lowered them onto the floor and rolled over so that his back was on the hard floor, covered only by a wooly rug.

Lily moaned as James drew away from the kiss. Not wanting to think about what was happening, nor caring, Lily tugged James' head back up to hers and kissed him deeply.

James couldn't keep his hands still. They were on her waist then her butt, then under her skirt. He was captivated by the soft warm feeling of her thighs as he scraped his nails gently down them.

Lily shivered from the feeling, never having had someone touch her in such an intimate way. "Merlin," she panted as she broke the kiss and arched her back, feeling his fingers brush past her damp panties.

James chuckled and moved his head to her neck, placing soft kisses, sucking on the skin. She tasted so good.

Lily moaned as she moved her hands from his neck to his tie. Fighting against the knot he had tied, Lily threw the tie as soon as she had it undone and began attacking his shirt, ripping a few of the buttons in her hurry, not even noticing James' hands trying to rid her of _her _clothes.

Lily reveled in the skin that she uncovered as she gazed at his chest. No _wonder_ he was considered so hot. Lily touched the warm, smooth skin in wonder, never really having seen the bare chest of a guy she was sexually interested in. After feeling him suck in a breath of air at the contact, Lily smiled softly as she spread her fingers against the almost tanned skin and traveled downwards, tracing the lines and small bulges that he had.

James swallowed the saliva that seemed to pool in his mouth and concentrated on steadying his hands as he continued to unbutton her shirt, having already gotten rid of her cloak and tie. His breathing escalated as he felt her undo his belt. _Patience, James, patience,_ he told himself as he managed to push the white material of her shirt to her shoulders as he gazed at the flesh that he uncovered.

James slowly, lovingly, ran his fingers over Lily's unblemished, creamy white skin. Almost in awe of her perfection. She was …well, _perfect_. To him at least. And that's all that mattered.

She had freckles on the very tops of her shoulders. It was just so…_endearing_.

Lily stopped un-zipping his pants and simply reacted to his touch. Goosebumps broke out over her skin as he lightly brushed the swell of her breast - or at least what was uncovered by her bra. It was an unbelievable sensation. Having someone touch you. Making your body burn. And creating this…intense tension in your lower stomach, with a simple touch. She throbbed painfully and she didn't know why. And at the moment she didn't care as she felt James leave a wet kiss on the skin that was exposed around her bra.

James tried to slow his body down, feeling how tense Lily was starting to get as his mouth brushed past a hardened nipple through her bra.

So he took it slow. Introducing Lily to each new caress until she became used to it. Comfortable with it. Allowing her to feel each new sensation and letting her wallow in its glory. And as he pushed her over the edge, James didn't even think about his own body. It was only her in his thoughts. She looked like the most stunning person in the world as she climaxed. Her head was thrown back in abandon, her auburn hair fanned out wildly behind her, her pert, bared, beautiful breasts thrust up to him and her spectacular hips snug against his own. She was gorgeous. And all his.

Slowly, James removed his fingers from her body and finished ridding himself of his clothes. He sent them flying in the general direction of Lily's as he held himself up over her body, waiting for her to open her eyes and look at him before he did anything.

And when she opened her green eyes and looked into his, James knew that this was going to be different from all the other girls. This was going to matter.

"This might hurt a little," he whispered softly as he guided himself into her body and groaned at the feeling. She was tighter than he ever thought she would be. Exhaling deeply, James pushed forward until he felt an obstruction.

"I'm sorry," he whispered hoarsely as he crashed his mouth against hers and thrust into her body swiftly.

Lily screamed as she felt her tissue rip. She arched her hips which made it worse and tried to make him get off of her.

Lily managed to angle her head away from his so that she could shake it. "It _really_ hurts," she whimpered, tears coming down her face.

James stayed still and wiped what tears he could off of her cheeks. Her body was tight around him, and he was trying to think about anything but that. Waiting for her body to calm down. "Relax your body," he told her quietly with a groan.

Lily took a deep breath and tried to relax. The sharp pain that she had felt at first was starting to go away slightly. But it still hurt.

James felt her relax and shifted a bit, causing Lily to make a sound somewhere in between a sob and a groan. So, James took it slow, moving his body in slow strokes as to not harm her anymore than he had. And when he finally felt her body relax enough, and no more pained sounds came from her, James leaned down and kissed her as he exited her body then carefully thrust back into it.

Lily groaned at the sensation that she felt and arched her back. It didn't feel as bad after awhile.

When James felt her respond to him, he grinned and lifted his head, and moved one hand to her breast as he sped up his pace. He was close to the finish and was trying to make sure that she would follow him.

She gasped when she felt his rough callused fingers rub her already sensitive nipples and groaned as she pushed her body into his even more, hoping to get the tense feeling that was coming back to go away.

James groaned when Lily thrust her hips and moved with him, and lost it. He couldn't handle it anymore. His body had been throbbing since she had walked in the door.

Having spent himself, James collapsed on a confused and unsatisfied Lily. She lay there with her hands at her sides panting.

This was not what she had expected it to be.

((xxxxxxxxxxx))

Lily shifted as sunlight glared into her eyes. God, she needed to do something about this bed. It was cold and hard and…wait. She moved her hand to the right. That felt like the rug. The rug? She swung out her left hand. There was someone next to her; James.

The events of last night came flooding into her mind. Lily moved onto her back and grimaced as her sore muscles contracted. With a sharp pang she realized, _I'm not a virgin anymore…_

Slowly, she raised herself to a sitting position and looked around the room. "Everything even _looks_ different after sex," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

Someone chuckled behind her. Lily turned around and glared at James who was watching her.

"You're so funny." He let out a happy laugh. "Are you okay this morning?"

Lily stood up carefully and grabbed a blanket off the couch. "No. I'm sore all over," she answered grumpily, wrapping the blanket around her half naked body. "And I missed half of school yesterday, plus dinner, and I'm very hungry."

James smiled, "Go get dressed and we'll have breakfast. It's only," he glanced at his watch, "six-thirty."

"Oh, you don't tell me what to do, James." Lily threw her head back defiantly.

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Or you could go down like that," he motioned at the cream colored blanket which was slipping off her shoulders.

Glaring at James, she stalked into her room to change.

Twenty minutes later, Lily emerged; fully dressed and in a much better mood. James was already waiting for her in the main room.

"Hey," he practically whispered, holding out his hand.

Lily clasped her fingers around James' outstretched hand. "Hey."

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**_Completely lame ending, I know. But what can you expect from hurried little paragraphs between homework assignments? Sorry it's been so long, by the way. _**

**_Let's get a big "HOORAA!" for Mistress del Mare and her lovely addition to this chapter. I finally lived up to my 'R' rating! Wooo._**

**_Hope you all enjoyed it. The parts I wrote…not my _****best_ work, but hey…whatever. Talk to you later!_**

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	14. CHAPTER 14

Devoted

Chapter 14

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James and Lily emerged hand-in-hand into the Great Hall that morning amidst whispers. Though their relationship had been revealed weeks ago, it was the first time the school had actually seen the two acknowledge the romance. The discreet talk erupted even louder as they sat down next to Sirius.

"I thought they would've been tired of gossiping about us by now," Lily sighed, blushing slightly. If there was anything she could take back, it would be her reputation and the respect she had once had.

"Nah," answered Sirius, scooping a spoonful of scrambled eggs onto his plate. "You're infamous now!"

Lily gave a soft laugh and shook her head. _Infamous_.

The three students -friends- finished breakfast under the scrutiny of their classmates. It was an odd feeling to be so closely watched while eating. Luckily, being the last day before their N.E.W.T's, there were no classes in order to give the seventh years time to study, and so Sirius, James, and Lily were able to retreat to the Gryffindor common room peacefully.

The next two weeks passed in a blur of complicated wand movements, horrifyingly difficult theories, and the agony of trying to remember minute details from the first year.

"I just knew I forgot to put in something about the Vanishing Spell on that last question," bemoaned Lily as they left the testing area. "It was that damn flick at the end!"

James rolled his eyes. They had just finished their last test. It had been the practical Transfiguration exam and he felt he had gained an Excellent at the very least.

Sirius trotted smoothly towards them. "I really feel I aced that Animagus question. Don't you, James?" He gave a loud laugh and winked at a pretty Ravenclaw girl passing by.

"Quiet, you prat," James replied.

"Oh," Sirius hitched his bag onto his shoulder, "very nice." He gave them a small smile and hurried up the stairs after the girl.

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The next day, Lily was in the Library returning some books she had borrowed for last minute studying. As she put her hand on the door to leave, it was pulled open and she fell crashing into Colleen.

They stared at each other for a moment, neither having said a word to the other since the entire James-Lily-Sirius scandal.

Colleen shifted on her feet, "Um, hi."

"Oh, yes, hello," Lily answered awkwardly, gazing at her shoes as though they would tell her what to say. "How are you?"

The blonde girl opened her mouth but was silent for a second. "I'm…I'm sorry that I've been so horrible to you."

Lily shook her fiery head. "No, don't be. Please, let's just forget it."

Colleen nodded quietly and led Lily to a table in the Library. "I want to know about your family, then."

Lillian seemed to be looking inward, gathering her thoughts, steeling herself. "It's not actually that horrible, you know. That's why I don't mention it. Everything was perfect until my mum died…she was so pleased that I was a witch and I think that was contagious to my father. But after that Christmas, she was gone and so was his happiness with my talent. Maybe he thought I should have saved her. He detested the whole magic thing and he egged Petunia on to ridicule me. All I hear at home is how I'm an ungrateful wench with a hideous unnaturalness," she glanced at her hands and gave a weary sigh. "Petunia used to be my best friend when we were little. Now she just lets Dad push me around. She enjoys it. The childish name calling doesn't really bother me, I suppose. It's more the fact that I miss them… you know, the way they used to be."

Neither of the girls spoke, letting the silence fall comfortably around them. After a couple of minutes, Colleen rose and put her arms around Lily. "Thank you for telling me." She gave a small squeeze and retreated from the Library.

Lily sat still, relishing the feeling of tranquility slowly coursing its way through her body. Telling her story to Colleen made it look a lot smaller. Giving the bookstand a tiny grin, she stood up left the Library.

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All too soon, the seventh year class found themselves receiving graduation certificates and attending the final feast.

Clouds dotted the otherwise perfect summer sky as Lily stood on the train's loading dock, staring at the castle with a misty expression. Sirius walked over and stood next to her, following her gaze.

"I'm going to miss it here, I think," he drawled, squinting slightly in the light.

Lily gave him a sideways glance. "Yeah? Yeah, I will too." The Hogwarts Express gave its first warning sound. "I guess its goodbye forever, then." She turned to board the train when Sirius grabbed her arm.

He looked straight into her green eyes. "I am happy for you and James. You two will last, I can feel it." With a smile, he let go of Lily's arm and ushered her onto the train.

They found the compartment that Remus, James, Colleen, Peter, and Tina had secured. Settling down between her boyfriend and her best friend, Lily finally felt that something had gone right that year. She felt at home, and for the first time in a long time, she didn't regret a single thing.

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xxx Epilogue xxx

Lily and James were married not even a year after they graduated Hogwarts. Living off a small fortune James had inherited from his parents' death against Voldemort, they became full-time activists in the Order of the Phoenix. They fought numerous times against the Death Eaters and personally faced the Dark Lord himself no less than three times during their membership.

Within that time, Lily became pregnant and gave birth to the famous Harry Potter who was destined to conquer Voldemort. Tragically, his destiny was Lily and James's death. They were well loved and respected by much of the wizarding world for their efforts against Voldemort and his band of Death Eaters.

Sirius took a career in the Ministry after graduation before realizing that office jobs just weren't that much fun. After quitting, he followed in James and Lily's footsteps and became an active member in the Order, recruiting members and fighting Death Eaters, though he never actually fought their leader.

During all of this, he started dating Tina. About a year into their relationship, Tina discovered that she was unexpectedly pregnant. Thrilled that Tina and Lily would be having children at the same time, Sirius proposed to her and they decided to name the baby Grayson as a play on their surnames. Unfortunately, when Tina was only four months along, she was sent on a mission for the Order and she and the unborn child were killed. It was extremely hard for Sirius, and he put all of his grief into his effort for the Order. He was delighted to be named godfather of Harry.

Colleen was killed in the same mission as Tina. It was unusual for her to even be fighting, because she was only a spy of the Order working in the Ministry. Her death was the cause of Lily's second escape from Voldemort. Lily, deeply saddened by the death of her two best friends, went after him herself and it was only a miracle, her amazing Charm work, and James that saved her.

When Harry was born, Voldemort was at the height of his power, and it was at this time that Peter joined the Death Eaters and started his work passing valuable information about the Order. He gave his new leader information that lead to the death of many people, including course, Lily and James Potter.

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_**Finally I am finished. I feel extremely guilty for waiting since November to update and then giving you this crap for a chapter…ah well, at least you have a conclusion. The epilogue is simply a very improbable future for Lily, James and the crew which ties in my special characters! Yay!**_

_**Anyway, I'm well aware that I've most likely lost any fan base that I'd built up but I'm going to thank those people who reviewed my previous chapter and ask anyone who does happen to read this one to review review review! Help me reach 200!**_

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_**Thank You!**_


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